byler oneshots

89 - endings + beginnings

•mike pov•
•angst + fluff •
•fall of junior year•
•byers never moved•

I hear the phone ring promptly at ten in the morning, just as it does every Saturday when El asks to hang out, but for some reason I've been feeling this wave of sadness and anger when I hear it. I don't know why, but being with her has felt more like an obligation than something that I actually want to do, and maybe I would feel completely different if we did anything other than make out and watch TV, but that's all she ever wants to do.

I stumble out of bed and to the phone in the hallway, picking it up shakily and holding it to my ear.

"Hi Mike!" she says happily in her sweet voice, and I can't help to feel regretful about thinking this way about her.

"Hey! What's up?" I ask, knowing what her routine response will be.

"Do you wanna come over and hang out?" she asks, and I can hear the sizzle of Hop cooking in the background.

"Sure, I'll drive over in a few minutes." I say, already dreading the day.

"See you soon." she says before hanging up the phone.

I get dressed in jeans and a big sweater and grab some breakfast on the way out the door, hopping into the drivers seat and heading to El's house.

I drive slowly, humming along to the music on the radio, thinking about a few weeks ago when Will and I hung out and listened to music for hours on end, sharing our opinions and getting temporarily angry at each other when we didn't agree. I can hear his laugh in the back of my head and I can picture his smile, wide and bright.

I catch myself smiling at the thought of him and shake the image out of my head as I pull up to the front of El's cabin where she is waiting on the front steps of the house. She stands when she sees me, smiling widely, which sends a pang of guilt through me.

"Hi!" I say, trying to distract myself from my own emotions and racing heart.

"Hi Mike!" she says, hugging me and kissing me on the cheek. I hug her back before she leads me into her room as I smile and wave at Hop, him giving me a warning look that essentially says "don't be messing around too much in there!"

We go in her room and she shuts the door all the way, which Hop finally lets her do now that we're almost seventeen.

We plop down on her bed and sit criss cross across from each other, her hand on my knee.

"How are you?" I ask, trying to stall so that we don't have to start kissing immediately.

"Good! I really want to come to school with you though. I always feel left out." she says sadly, looking over at the school books on her desk that Hop tries to teach her from.

"I know, but trust me, you're not missing anything. School is so boring." I reassure her. She smiles back softly at me before leaning in, her eyes closing slowly. I kiss her back, but only momentarily, before my heart begins to race. My mind is spinning and there are a thousand thoughts running through my head, mostly about Will.

Why can't I stop thinking about him? And why can I picture doing this with him? I'm not supposed to like him the way that I once liked El, but I think I do...