"You have no rights to treat a patient!"
I was out of words. I couldn't say anything. My licenses are on the line but I was doing nothing.. I lost faith in myself.
Last day, a VIP patient had died. According to a post-mortem report, he died because of too much dosage of the drugs that he was taking. Medical malpractice. That's the claim of family. They are blaming everything on me just because I accepted the Chief's order.
I know... I didn't do it. They did it, dumping everything to me because I was an easy way out. They could just tell anyone that I was distracted at work so I didn't know anything I am doing. They could plant witnesses. They could paint the whole scenario.
I know what their plan is but I am not doing anything... because I am afraid. Baka totoo ang sinasabi ng ibang tao. Talagang hindi ako dapat nangagagamot. Baka nga kinuha lang ako ng hospital na 'to dahil kay Adi at hindi sa sarili kong kakayahan. Regardless of the reason, I was thinking that maybe... just maybe... I deserved what was happening. Baka ito na 'yung sign na ibinibigay ng langit.
"Love, may problema ba?" Pau asked while we are watching a movie together that night. Ngumiti ako at saka umiling. I couldn't tell him anything because I know that he had a lot on his mind as well. I can't burden him. He seemed not convinced but he did not say anything anymore. We just spent our night together.
"That's the reason why personal lives should be separated with work." It was another day. I was called to a meeting with the higher ups. Nakatayo lang ako sa gitna. Nag-iisip kung dapat ko bang ilabas ang alas na hawak ko o manahimik na lang. Hindi na halos ako nakikinig. My mind is clouded with a lot of thoughts. I was lost...
"Miss Martin..." The director called making me look in the front. Mukhang kanina pa nila ako tinatawag.
They all sighed. "You seem troubled. Take a few days off..." Hindi ko na narinig ang kasunod. Alam ko namang pinapaalis lang nila ako. I wouldn't be surprised if one of these days, I'll receive a letter of dismissal.
Or worst, revocation of license.
"Elle!" Magkasabay na sigaw nina Kuya nang makapasok sila sa meeting room. Everyone already left and I stayed inside that room. Standing like an idiot while I was busy weighing things on my mind.
"Elle, tell Kuya that you didn't do it!" Kuya Dave frustratedly yelled while shaking my shoulders. He was obviously confused and he was just waiting for me to tell him everything. He's also unsure if I am capable or not.
Ngumiti ako at saka umiling, unable to answer.
"I didn't do it..." Sagot ko at saka tumalikod. Hinawakan ako ni Kuya, nagtatanong. "But I don't want to do anything anymore."
"Joerrelle!" Kuya yelled. He's now mad at me. Ngumiti ako at saka umiling saka sapilitang hinigit ang kamay ko. I wanted to shut myself from the world. Pagod na ako. Pagod na pagod na.
I couldn't go home that night. Pau was expecting that I am in the hospital so I should stay. I was sitting on the garden, looking at the sky when someone sat beside me. It was my biological mom, smiling at me.
"I know I never become a mother to you but I am always here. You can share everything to me. Just think that I am your friend... or just a stranger." She said and looked up with the same spot I am staring at.
I was uncomfortable but I ended up sharing... from the bottom, up to this point. Then, we become silent afterwards.
"Sweetie, you know what to do. You are smart enough to figure that out..." Bulong niya sa akin. She held my hand lightly, careful that she might make me uncomfortable. "Regarding your marriage, I wouldn't say anything because that's your relationship. Just follow what you think is right."
