If people would know my thoughts, they will definitely think that I am shallow. Na hindi naman problema pero pinoproblema ko. Kung tutuusin maaaring tama sila. I have a home. I have foods. I have money. I won't be needing to work hard to have those, but I am still taking the possibility of choosing it.
"Wala ka man lang sasabihin para i-comfort ako?" Tanong ko kay Paulo na walang reaksyon sa tabi ko. I laughed with my own joke and sat on the nearest bench. Umupo naman si Paulo sa tabi ko.
Nandito kami ngayon sa isang malapit na park. After I told him to help me get away from that university, he brought me here. Walang masyadong tao. Just a peaceful place. Maraming puno, maraming nagliliparang mga ibon. Siguro stressed out lang ako sa school and I wanted an escape. I'm glad that I saw him there. I'm glad that Paulo is there.
"Wait, what are you doing in front of my university?" Tanong ko sa kanya na nang ma-realize kong wala siya dapat doon. Lumingon siya sa akin at tumawa. He was on the gate when I saw him. Medyo maaga kasi kaming pinalabas dahil maaga daw ang pasok ng Professor namin sa night class sa college. Hindi na kami nagreklamo dahil tapos na rin naman ang lesson para sa araw na 'yun. Isa pa, gustong-gusto ko na rin talagang umalis kaya kahit sumasakit ang paa ko, pinili ko pa rin na maglakad ng mabilis.
"Sinusundo ka." Sagot niya sa akin. Inirapan ko siya at saka tumawa. There's no way he'll do that. Maybe he just thought of it. Walang magawa? Or maybe he went somewhere on the way. Busy Paulo would never be bothered with some nonsense reason. Lalo na siguro 'yung sunduin ako. Whatever. The most important thing is that he was there.
"They are pursuing me to join the swimming team." I said out of nowhere completely destroying the silence between us. I looked up in the sky and stared on it. "But the problem is, I don't want to." I smiled and let myself drown in the peacefulness. I sighed in confusion. Hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong gawin. What I am saying is completely different from what I have in mind. I am already loosing my sanity.
"Paano mo nasabing ayaw mo?" Tanong niya sa akin pabalik na parang nababasa niya ang laman ng utak ko. Lumingon ako sa kanya. I almost held my breath when his gazes metmine. He looked at me like he was reading my soul.
"Maybe this is out of my plan?" Patanong kong sagot at saka tumawa ng mahina. Tumayo ako at saka muling dahan-dahang naglakad. Paulo held my arms to support me. I am just really torned. I mean, that offer is way to good, but I do know that I just couldn't let out of my plan. That's what I am keeping in mind for a long time already and I couldn't just get it away with an instant.
"Not everything is under your control. There are things that is really bound to happen even we don't expect it. Maybe you're too fast to decide. Ask yourself. Feel your heart. Sometimes, it's just on the mindset but against our heart." Saad niya. Napahinto ako sa paglalakad hindi dahil sa nadala ako sa salita ni Paulo but because I felt a stinging pain on my ankle. Napapikit ako at saka kinagat ang labi para pigilan ang sarili ko na magsalita.
"Okay ka lang?" Pau asked takinga peek on my face. Worry is evident on his voice. He held my hand tight and the next thing I knew, hindi na nakalapat ang paa ko sa lupa. I opened my eyes as he put me on a bench. He knelt down and remove my sock. Dahan-dahan niyang tinanggal ang bandage sa paa ko bago tumakbo palayo nang walang pasabi. Siraulo talaga 'yun. Paano kung bigla na lang niyang maisipan na huwag nang bumalik? I mentally laughed. Of course, he would never do that. Si Paulo pa ba? I stared on my foot. For days, the swollen part already subsided but now, it looks like it came back to day one.
