"You belong to the low percentage of women who don't experience the symptoms of pregnancy such as nausea, fatigue, dizziness and others..."
The doctor's words echoed in my ears like a distant thunderstorm. I sat there, stunned, trying to process the gravity of what he just said. It felt as though time itself had frozen, trapping me in a surreal moment of disbelief. It took me a little while to face the truth.Summoning every ounce of courage I possessed, I finally mustered the strength to confront my fears and seek answers from my doctor. Little did I know that the truth awaiting me would shatter the fragile bubble of hope I had been clinging to. "I'm so sorry but you lost the baby from the accident." The doctor's voice broke through the heavy silence, his words a somber refrain of loss and sorrow. And with those simple words, the reality of my situation came crashing down upon me like a tidal wave, sweeping away the fragile remnants of hope that had sustained me until now. Parang tuluyan nang gumuho ang mundo ko.
As the doctor's words sank in, a profound sense of numbness washed over me. I wanted to cry, to scream, to protest against the cruel twist of fate that had robbed me of the life growing inside me. But my voice faltered, trapped within the suffocating grip of shock and grief. In that moment, amidst the sterile white walls of the doctor's office, I felt utterly alone. The world seemed to tilt on its axis, leaving me adrift in a sea of unanswered questions and shattered dreams. In the quiet aftermath of tragedy, I found myself grappling with emotions too complex to name. There were no tears, no hysterical outbursts—just a profound sense of emptiness that threatened to consume me whole.
My mind was just floating around as we walk back towards my ward. Pau is behind me, pushing my wheelchair while he kept on telling me that it wasn't my fault... that I shouldn't be blaming myself for the things that are out of my control... but I couldn't help it. Ina ako e. Ako dapat ang nakakaalam.
Wala pa kasi kaming plano tungkol sa pagkakaroon ng anak because we were waiting for the wedding... Both of our families are very traditional.. conservative. But I insisted dahil lagpas isang buwan na lang naman. Isa pa, kasal na rin naman talaga kami. At the end of the day, kahit pagbali-baliktarin ang sitwasyon, nasa akin ang huling desisyon kaya nasa akin din ang responsibilidad. It was me... the decision and the consequences fell on me.
"Love, hindi ka pa ba matutulog?" Paulo asked, he's lying on the hospital bed, using my lap as his pillow. He's always beside me, making sure than he could offer comfort. I longed to cry, to release the floodgates of pent-up emotions that threatened to engulf me whole. But the tears refused to come, as if my heart had erected a barrier to shield itself from the pain that lay beyond. Deep down, I knew I didn't have the right to grieve. After all, it was my actions—or lack thereof—that had led us to this heartbreaking juncture... How I couldn't notice those nights that Pau is crying alone while I was fast asleep? Bakit wala akong alam?
I deserved all this pain and suffering.
"Love." Pau called that made me came back to reality. That's when I realized that I am spacing out and stopped caressing his hair. "What are you thinking?"
Ngumiti ako saka umiling. I know he knows but he never asked again because he knows me well... I love him so much but there are things that I should process myself. There are things that I needed to deal on my own. No one could help me with this except myself.
"Now, many videos are surfacing online showing that the famous artist and his girlfriend followed the traffic rules, and the Thailand local was the one at fault. But the question remains: why hasn't this person been penalized?" I was watching the morning show that morning when this news came out. Noon ko lang nakita na inilabas na pala ang lahat ng footages na nakolekta ng team ko. They spread it through social networking sites and email it to the local and international TV stations. But strange enough, words never come out locally. Buti na lang at kilalang tao si Paulo kaya mabilis na nagkaroon ng interes ang mga tao. "Well, there's a rumor that this guy involved is a son of the politician of the country. What do you think?"
