Unexpected you

Chapter 39

After I left Marie's house, I decided to take the long way home—stopping and sitting on a park bench to fully take in what I'd just heard. I never expected to hear that Lucas was handling the break up so badly. And I wasn't used to having a man in my life, that wanted me as much as Lucas did. Needless to say, it's hard to believe sometimes.

As I stand from the bench, I notice a couple arguing. The girl seems distraught over it, but the guy is acting as if she's being ridiculous. Completely dismissive of her pain. Is this my real issue? I mean I'm being completely honest about not wanting to ruin Lucas's life, but am I also scared. Deep down inside, do I fear that men will eventually behave this way? Am I just making an excuse?

No! Lucas loved me and I knew it. That man did everything he could to prove his love, and he treated me as if I were the most important person in his life. How and why could I ever doubt him? Because you are a stupid woman who stubborn ways has gotten out of control. My subconscious reminds me. Maybe our love was strong enough to handle anything and everything. Maybe I should have never walked away. Maybe I should've had more faith in us. Ugh! I can't believe that after forty five days of trying to heal, I'm back here again.

I'm angry at myself because I knew what walking away would do to him, yet I still left him as if he weren't important enough. Good gracious! When did I get so good at making the wrong choices? I love Lucas, this I know, but I also know that I'm doing the right thing by letting him go. I need to stay away. To keep my distance so that Lucas can finally move
to New York. Where he can focus on his career—and eventually in time, find someone new. Someone who's single like him, has no children, and someone he could bring home with his head held high. Someone who he can show off to the world without having to sneak around.