Unexpected you

Chapter 42

Lucas bends down and lifts me up off of the ground. No one is home tonight except me. Come home with me so we can talk. Please. He begged. A part of me feels like I shouldn't, because I don't know what will happen once we're in the house alone. Nevertheless, I stand and follow him down the street, up the front steps, and into his house. I had to. He's leaving for another city tomorrow and I might never see him again.

We enter the house and as he guides me into the kitchen, I recall the conversation that Marie I had just days ago. Her words flood my mind and I realize that really— it's that conversation that has me in a state of confusion. Like all of a sudden, I don't know what I want or what to do. Are you ok? Lucas asks as he leans forward onto the counter. Mmhm. I replied. Not knowing what else to say. Hmm—so you want to tell me what really brought you here tonight? I shrug my shoulders and nod my head as to say. I don't know.

Can you do something for me? Lucas asks. Yes—anything. I answered. Can you tell me when you fell in love with me? What? I wasn't expecting him to ask me that question, and I ponder answering. But I'll give him an honest answer because after all, I did show up without notice and disrupted his night. Its the least I could do. I bring my mouth to the cold glass of water, chug the entire thing, then I begin to tell him the exact moment I fell in love with him.

The first time we had sex. I confess. He steps back and looks at me with wondering eyes. He wants to hear more. Details maybe? Like what exactly did he do during this moment to make me fall in love. This is hard for me to talk about, but Ive already committed to telling him whatever he needs to know, so I continue.

I guess it was how patient and understanding you were. How you didn't force me to do anything I wasn't ready for. How throughout the entire experience, you worried more about me feeling comfortable and good. But mostly, It was how you held me for hours afterwards, and asked me questions about my baby and my life. All those things made me feel like I mattered, and you have no idea what that meant to me. Throughout my younger years, especially my teenage years, no one had ever made me feel that important—that wanted. I know that was the moment when I fell in love with you. I confess.

Cheyenne, couldn't you tell that I had fallen for you as well? I mean I never planned on having a girlfriend. Well—not at this time in my life. I was content with being free and having my fun. But then you came along and changed everything. And I can't explain how or when it happened. I just woke up one morning and I knew, in my heart, there was no doubt that you were the one I was supposed to be with.

Cheyenne... I love my mother with all of my heart. She is a great woman and I do care about what she thinks when it comes to my choices, but I wasn't okay with breaking up merely because my mother felt it wasn't right. You should've talked to me before you walked away. I deserved that much. He's right—and I have regretted that moment, but the damage was already done. I'm sorry I hurt you Lucas. I just knew that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was the reason for your downfall. I didn't want to be the reason why you lost your job, and I definitely didn't want to be the cause of a family feud. I reach for his hand and wrap my hand around his index finger. I'm sorry—I am so sorry, Lucas. Cheyenne, I don't need you to apologize. I understand now why you made your choice. Thank you for finally explaining this to me.

This is why I fell for Lucas. He's so gentle, genuine and understanding. He truly deserves nothing but the best. Lucas, I have to be honest with you. I came here tonight to tell you how I felt, and apologize for what I did to you. But you have to go to New York. You can't stay here for me. I would if you asked me to, Cheyenne. He said with sad eyes, and my heart broke.

I believe you Lucas. But I will never ask you to adjust or change your life just to be with me. Besides, I need to take some time for myself. I set so many goals earlier this year, and I'm finally getting back on track. I don't want to let myself down. I confess. Promise me Lucas— promise that you'll focus on yourself and all you wanted to do, and I'll promise to keep in contact with you. As friends. I add. Just friends? He asks. Yes, and we'll see where it goes from there. Lucas sighs and makes his way towards me. Okay Cheyenne. I'll do whatever I need to do. Because I rather have you in my life as a friend, than nothing at all.

After an hour of conversation, I stand from the kitchen stool and say. I should go now, it's getting late and I'm sure you have last minute things to do before you leave. Not at all. I'm all packed and ready to go. He says and grabs my hand. Can you hang around for a while? I'd like to have a drink with you and talk for a bit longer, if you don't mind. A big part of me thinks that I should leave, but I don't. And we sit there and talk the way that we always did. It was nice and I've missed this so much.

Before I realized, another hour had passed by and we were on our 2nd glass of wine. Thank goodness our awkward moment in the beginning sobered me up. I could have easily passed out from being drunk out of my mind by now, since I had  all of those drinks earlier. I should go now, Lucas. Its getting so late. I say as I reached over and give him a quick hug. Oh man—hugging him sure feels nice, but I must admit, it does feel a bit awkward.

Have a safe flight and good luck with your new job. I said as I reached the front door. Thank you for hanging out with me, Cheyenne. I didn't realize just how much I needed this conversation. I needed this conversation as much as he did, and I know now that I will never regret coming here tonight. I'll miss you. He says. And he comes in again for another hug. This time, holding on to me tight, and placing one single kiss on my cheek. I should be the one thanking you. For taking the time to speak to me after all I've done. Ok... go ahead. Thank me. He says jokingly. We both burst into laughter, and then I place a hand on his cheek and say. Thank you Lucas, and I'll miss you too.