Unexpected you

Chapter 12

    I kicked off the bed sheets and turned on my side to face the clock on the wall, when I realize that It's only five o'clock in the morning. But I'm wide awake and I doubt that I'll be able to fall back to sleep, so I don't try. And even if I wanted to force myself to sleep, this heat wave we've been experiencing would make it impossible. Ugh! I'm so damn uncomfortable. I'm drenched in sweat and my throat is so irritated that it feels like it's been scratched with sandpaper. The coarse grit kind. I need some fresh air, and I hate the fact that my bedroom only has one window. A window that's painted shut and adorned with the ugliest iron guard I have ever seen. Some days it makes me feel safe, but other days I feel like a prisoner. I can't even count the amount of times I thought of  grabbing a hammer and destroying the damn thing! But as tempting as it sounds, I'll never do it. My neighborhood isn't exactly pleasantville and I do live on the first floor. Keeping it as is just makes more sense.

I had considered visiting Mother today, but Im yet to decide. I should probably just go. She hasn't seen Sofie in a few weeks and has been calling me nonstop for the past two days. She had taken Sofie overnight a few times and it was great having a little time for myself, but I found it made it easy for me to party and ignore my to do's. So I put the overnight stays on a halt and slowed the partying down. Just for a bit while I got back on track with things that are important to me. Hmm...perhaps I  should save my visit for tomorrow. I think to myself as I glance around the room. I have a hamper full of dirty clothes and a closet in disarray, both calling my name. Besides, it's Thursday and I know the laundromat around the corner isn't going to be as packed as it will be come the weekend. So I'd be smart to take care of it today.

Fuck!......Why is it so damn hot in here? As I turn to look at the fan sitting on my dresser, I notice that it's off. That's odd! I was positive that I turned it on last night before going to bed. Also, why haven't I noticed it was off the entire time I've been laying here awake? My focus has definitely been off these days and that bothers me so much. I look over at Sofie and I can see her hairline is wet from sweat. I don't know why this little girl insists on sleeping with a winter blanket during the summer. It could be one hundred degrees outside and she won't fall asleep unless she's wrapped in that darn pink fuzzy blanket. I knew something would eventually drag me out of bed.

I make my way to Sofie's  bed and carefully lift the blanket away from her. She tosses and turns but continues to sleep. Thank goodness. I would love to get a few things done before she wakes up. I walk over to the fan, turn it on low, and remove the blanket off of her. I doubt she'll wake up just yet, and I'm sure she's going to sleep for another hour or so. That leaves me with enough time to bathe, have breakfast and separate the whites from the colors. An hour later, I'm loading the detergents onto the rolling cart when Sofie wakes up. Just as I predicted, and boy is she moody. I knew once she got up and saw that her blanket was gone she would have a fit. Like I said... she's obsessed with it and that's why I pray I never loose it.

So far, my morning has been quite busy, so Im not surprised when nine o'clock rolled around and I was already exhausted. On top of everything, feeding Sofie breakfast and changing her clothes has been quite the challenge. For some reason, she doesn't seem to want to go anywhere, and the struggle to put her shoes on is beyond frustrating. Where in the heck did I place my wallet and keys? I yell as I search the living room. I've been looking for five minutes to no avail and my panic sets in the moment I realize that my ID is in that wallet. Ugh! Something tells me today is going to be a looong day. When I finally locate my keys and wallet, and as I'm about to walk out the door, Sofie begins to scream. Oh my goodness! Not this, not now! I don't understand what her deal is this morning. Usually, when she sees me prepping her bag, she gets excited. She loves it when I place her in the stroller and we step out of the house. But she isn't having it today and her tantrums are growing out of control.