"You can let it go
You can throw a party full of everyone you know
And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love
You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up"
When 20 year old Matilda moved down to London after growing up qu...
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Matilda
"Matilda, get your ass out of that room!" Flo shouts.
I haven't told anyone what happened, I have just isolated myself in my room. I don't leave my room unless I need the bathroom. I have started to leave meals out of my day. I come out of my room when the others are in bed or out of the apartment. I know I am worrying them I can see it. They have been trying to let me talk to them. I just haven't been able to. It's not that they will tell anyone I know that they won't I just can't say the thing that I have tried to protect my sister away from. I mean what sister leaves her sibling in the house that you try to escape from. I failed her and I will make it up to her for however long I live for.
The phone call shattered me, hearing my sister cry over the phone. I got there quickly. I can't remember most of the drive there. My mind was going through a hundred situations at once. I was terrified of what I was walking into. On the drive to my childhood home not wanting to get out of my car and seeing all the memories that flash back into my mind. I hardly slept when I was comforting Tia until she went to sleep. I think the tops I got were about 15 minutes after that it was about 7 in the morning. I went to the kitchen wanting to prepare myself for saying goodbye to my sister. The person I was dreading came through the door half way through but she just ignored my presence.
Once Tia was awake we went for a walk around the cul de sac and talked about how school was going for her and how I have been but mainly I wanted to talk about her. She told me she has a best friend called Lydia. It was nice to know she had someone rather than no one at all. Before I knew it was time that I had to say goodbye to her. We were both crying but mainly her. The sobs that came out of her were heartbreaking. I was surprised that I didn't get into an accident on my way home with the way my tears just kept flowing out of my eyes. I don't think I have cried that much. I felt empty; it was like a part of me died.
I got back to London around 8 and walked in on all the guys around and sat on the couch. The first pair of eyes to meet mine were the green ones that I haven't stopped dreaming of since that night on the roof. I could tell that he was itching to get up and to see if I was okay. Yet after 15 minutes he ended up in my room talking. I told him how I felt. I regretted it straight away. I wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear from the earth. I can't believe that Harry brought my purse back. To be honest I didn't even realise that I left it there.
"Matilda I swear don't make me knock this door down and drag you out of there" Flo shouts again from behind the door. It's not like I don't want to talk to them. I do but I just can't force myself to open up and tell people things.
"Leave me alone" I shout back. If I came out and they saw me they would look at me with pity. I hate that. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I need to do this alone and I can do this alone.
"No matilda, you haven't been out of that room since you came back from wherever you have been. You don't have to talk to us, we won't pressure you into talking but there is no need to isolate yourself in your room" Flo shouts annoyedly.
