"You can let it go
You can throw a party full of everyone you know
And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love
You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up"
When 20 year old Matilda moved down to London after growing up qu...
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Harry
3:00am
Do you know in horror movies when it goes from everyone sleeping to a disaster. This is what this moment feels like. Waking up to the sound of scream crying and the sound of glass or something smashing against the floor and the walls. Wanting to go check the scene that is currently happening in my mums' house. I get out of bed but hear a meow from the side of me to tell me that I have disturbed Oreos sleeping.
"Sorry mate" I say to the black and while cat that was curled up cosey at the side of me.
Goosebumps spread across my skin due to the coldness of the air. Walking from bedroom to bedroom until I get to the one bedroom that I know she should be in. I look in to make sure she's in there until panic rises in my body not knowing where she is. I'm praying that nothing has happened to her and she's just having one of her nightmares and not someone breaking into the apartment.
Speed walking to the scene in front of me. I can see little pieces of plates and glasses smashed across the floor mixed with what I'm guessing was alcohol bottles. Seeing my mum grabbing glasses from the cupboard above the sink then hearing it smash on the ground sends pain through me. Watching your parents going through something like this hurts you, not just them. Helpless is all I feel knowing I can't take away all of the pain she's suffering and make yourself deal with it instead of them.
"Mum" I say not wanting to freak her out due to her having flashbacks.
"Hey baby go back to bed it's okay" she says in her comforting voice that she used to do when her and my dad was having arguments when I was little.
"Mum, it's okay. Let me come near you okay?" I say walking to her slowly with my hands up in defence so she knows that i'm not going to hurt her physically. "Okay we can go back to bed and everything will be okay." I say doing anything I can to try and get her to calm down.
"No! No h-he's h-here." She mumbles while looking around my open floor plan of my apartment in panic. I can begin to feel the stingingness of tears that are beginning to build in my eyes. It pains me to know that she went through all that and still acted like everything is normal around me.
"Mum he's not here okay it's just me and you're okay" I say not wanting to trigger anymore memories. "Let's get you into bed and I can clean this up okay."
She drops to the floor and crawls into a ball like someone is beating her over and over again while painful sobs break from her chest. Luckily there is no glass or anything where she is so she can't get cut. I hate her having these episodes. I hate him.
My dad was abusive to my mum for all I've ever known. I used to come home from coming back from my mates house and I could hear her sniffling from their bedroom. My dad always said crying makes people look weak. I used to want him to beat me instead of her. I would try any reason, any reason at all just to take his attention off my mum but she'd always stick up for me. My mum couldn't leave him though because if she tried he would beat her. I knew what was happening but my mum was trying to cover his actions up by making up fake little stories of how each incident happened.
