"You can let it go
You can throw a party full of everyone you know
And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love
You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up"
When 20 year old Matilda moved down to London after growing up qu...
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Matilda
Waking up wrapped in the familiar arms is a feeling I would never get used to. Once they disappeared but now they are back and giving me the comfort that I will always need. I lost them once. I don't think I'd be able to go through losing them again.
When he left it was like a candle that made me, had been blown out. Though the days I felt lonely and drained but yet all I can think about is the strength I had to get up and out of bed on those days that were harder than them all. I slowly made my way up again, becoming stronger on my own. The thing it showed to me was that I never need anyone to be here although I would love the support I don't need. I always knew I was my own person and just stuck to myself but knowing that I leant on Harry's shoulder and he left left me feeling lost and falling off into the deep end again.
It's always been a struggle to rely on others as you just get more used to being alone and having yourself to keep company but also to rely on yourself the most with confidence. It's the worst when you need reassurance but have no one to rely on.
“Hey baby” I feel him place kisses along my shoulder, one making me tense from the unexpected contact. We've been trying to get back to our original bond and it shouldn't be hard but I guess we are too broken for each other to rely on for comfort when we are both struggling.
“Hi” a lazy smile rests on my face just thinking about the happy times and the memories of us together laughing and joking in the bed that holds out sweet nothings.
“What's the plan for today?” I tense as I know he's on about my brother who I left to sleep on our couch as I felt sorry he didn't have anywhere else to go except getting a hotel at around nine at night.
“I think it's just a case of talking and getting to know my brother I never knew about but also if it doesn't hurt I may ask about my dad too” I whisper feeling unsure of myself.
“I'll support you in whatever your decision is and I'll always be here for you if you ever need me. Just say and I'll take you out of the situation immediately.” I let out a breathy laugh but he turns my chin so he places a kiss on my lips making me smile. “I mean it, just give me a sign and he will be gone.”
“I know, I know you will but maybe I just have to give people a chance.” I murmur once we separate from each other.
“Whatever you want to do baby always and forever” he mentions making my cheeks hurt from smiling at how sweet he can be while whispering threats about how to get rid of my brother if I didn't want him there. I wrap my arms around his shoulders to let his chin rest in the crook of my neck.
“Come on we best get up” I tap his back making the action clear that we need to get up.
“Noooo” He wines making me laugh from the reaction.
