"You can let it go
You can throw a party full of everyone you know
And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love
You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up"
When 20 year old Matilda moved down to London after growing up qu...
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Matilda
Waking up to an empty half of the bed feels weird. It's normally filled with a body that brings me the sense of comfort I have always thought about. The way my body feels lighter when i'm around him but also the sense of comfort where he brings a smile to my face from just being around. I feel less lonely when I am with him and I've always thought the feeling of having a weight on you was forever.
I've been home in my apartment the last 3 days as I thought it was a good time to think. Not just about what I've been through but my life. They way it has changed from the way Ace left my bedroom calling me names that I haven't been called since high school but also the way my life changed after that night I did what I did in the bathroom. The way I haven't left Harry's side since we hooked up in his dressing room. I have stayed at his place more than I think about doing exercise.
I feel like the worst friend though as I haven't talked to them as much as I normally would if I was still here as often as I was. I love my friends and they are the ones that have picked me up from rock bottom when I didn't have Harry but also Zayn.
Hearing laughter outside my door I feel a smile appear on my face. I am happy and I have never thought I could be. I know I have feelings for Harry. I can tell with the way I get nervous at his touch but also the way his words affect me differently to everyone else's. It's scary knowing that you are able to rely on them and they are the person you are thinking to have a future with but I can see everything with him. Children,marriage but also just everything in-between. I can see a future with Harry Styles.
Putting on Harry's t-shirt that I have now claimed as my own I walk towards where all the commotion is happening and see a happy couple making what looks like pancakes. I see Izzy laughing while Miles has put his jaw in the crook of her neck whispering what I guess is funny comments. I stand in the hall thinking of that moment of me and Harry dancing together and him doing the exact thing to me.
"I hope you have made some for me?" I grin while they both look behind with looks that look like they have been doing something they shouldn't have done.
"Ummm sorry there's none left we ate them all" Miles says sarcastically which earns Izzy to throw her head backwards letting out a laugh. I missed these people.
"How are you both?" I ask.
"We are good, we are both together so that says something." I see Miles laugh and start pulling Izzy towards him by the waist which makes me miss Harry. There's something they are keeping away from me and I want to know what it is.
"What happened?" I ask in a curious tone.
"We have something to say" Miles starts off. Whatever it is should be good as miles can't keep his excitement in any longer.
"Okay and" I raise an eyebrow not knowing where this can lead to.
"This was not planned" Izzy says seriously which makes me think something terrible is gonna happen like they are moving away and I will never see them again but like I said it could be anything and I am overthinking it.
