"You can let it go
You can throw a party full of everyone you know
And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love
You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up"
When 20 year old Matilda moved down to London after growing up qu...
TW: Mentions of abuse, suicide, self harm, death of a loved one, depression, struggle of mental health.
Please if any of these topics trigger you please don't read this is an vulnerable chapter and I don't want people to risk their mental health over it.
I love you all enjoy <3
22/12/17
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Matilda
Waking up in the same empty bed that I've slept in. Hardly having sleep from the waiting to see if Harry was going to join me into our bed that has his distance sent on but yet there was no sign of him. Reaching out doing the same routine that I have been following since he left.
Reaching out wanting his comfort before dragging myself out of bed and avoiding the bathroom knowing that I'd have another episode and I don't really want one especially with Harry in the house. I know I have to tell him and I will today. Sliding out of the bed that protects me from anything I walk down the hallway to see Harry sat up on the couch with his head on his hands like he can't figure something out.
"I can feel you staring" He mutters softly, looking up to see a glint of an emotion that I can't work out in his eyes.
"I'm sorry" I apologise not even knowing why i'm apologising.
"No, no it's okay" He assures me while standing up to walk over in my direction making me step back from not wanting to give into his touch. I know that if I get closer I will forgive him right there and then but he needs me and I can do that from afar, can't I? Why am I even questioning my abilities to stay away from him? It's easy.
"How did you sleep?" He asks, leaving distance between us.
"Better as it calms my mind that you are okay and safe" I mutter, not able to look in his eyes while talking.
"Tilda I need to talk to you" The way he's says it makes me squirm on my feet in nerves. This is where he tells me that he's leaving again isn't it?
"Okay" I hesitate.
"I'll make you pancakes go sit" He instructed me, as I sat at the countertop without uttering a word.
"Do you wanna talk now or later?" I ask as he begins to look in the cupboards for the flour he pauses to think what's best until he lets out a sigh.
"I think it's best I say it all now otherwise I would have chickened out if I had any more time to think about it." I watch him unsure wondering what's so hard for him to say.
"Okay I'm listening" I assure as he mixes the mixture together.
"My childhood wasn't the greatest. My dad was out drinking in the pub most of the time which left me until my sister Peaches came along when I was 6. Scott is my mom's best friend and he stepped into my life as a father figure since my dad was never there but I remember him coming back into our lives when my mum had peaches. That's when he became the father figure me and my sister both needed as ours was focused on getting wasted. Over time mum and Scott's relationship grew and one day he just stopped coming meaning my mum was becoming a single mum with two kids as my dad was never there." He took a deep breath before continuing, his body was tense making me want to go around to him and wrap my arms around his waist.
