"You can let it go
You can throw a party full of everyone you know
And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love
You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up"
When 20 year old Matilda moved down to London after growing up qu...
Please please please do not read this if your sensetive to the topic! please look after yourself! My book is not worth you suffering. My dms are always up if you need to talk but please put yourself first and read with caution and remember that I would not put anything in the book that would not be needed in the future. It's real and it hits personally to many people. Please be kind to both characters and try and understand where they are both suffering!!!
PS: please read the other authors not at the end!!
Read the song when its the second part of Matilda's perspective (when there's a *)
21/11/17
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Harry
Lying awake with thoughts that confused me more than accepting that the person that was a father figure in my life was actually my father. Did everyone know about this and I was just getting dragged along? Is this actually true? It can't be can it?
Nothing distracts me but all I can hear is silence and the ringing in my ears. I feel guilty about snapping at her earlier; she didn't deserve it. She had nothing to do with what happened and yet I took my anger out on her. It's how I take my anger out but sooner or later I'll push everyone away just so that nobody can hurt me, not as bad I could hurt me. They are better off without me. Having her sleeping next to me used to bring me comfort but now all it brings is suffocation even though she's at the other side of the bed as I hadn't brought her to my chest like I normally do to fall asleep easily.
I can't sleep, my mind is keeping me awake and everything is suffocating me.
Sliding out of bed trying not to make any sudden movements to wake Matilda. I walk towards the living room with the only light source being the wall of windows showing me the city ahead of me. My hometown. Was that a lie as well?
I don't know what or who to believe anymore and the only person who could know about all this and help me is the person who is not in this universe anymore. She would have known what to say, she knows what to do in any situation and yet she was only 2 years younger than me.
Am I even related to her? Is she even my sister anymore?
My mind is at the place that I don't want it to be. I need help before I drown into the deep end but what happens if the person that brings you the most comfort can't help you?
....
Walking up hearing the sounds of the kettle meaning that she's awake. I must have fallen asleep on the couch but I have no recognition that I did.
I stare up to the ceiling in silence still trying to figure out what had just happened in the last 24 hours. Everything was going fine. We were happy, Matilda met Oreo and my mum showed her baby pictures. Maybe if she didn't then I wouldn't have been like this but how long would they have kept it from me if I hadn't found out.
