✔ Far Cry | JJK x OC

✔Chapter 30 // Secret

During dinner that night they quickly went over the rehabilitation Namjoon would do. At first with Ella and, once he was stronger, probably with Aaden or someone he considered good. He was very excited to start it only one week after being shot and was proud that Ella thought he was healing fast enough to be able to do it. According to her, he was lucky in his injury and that it didn't cause significant damage. She expected him to recover fairly quickly.

Leah showered before getting to bed where Jungkook was already. Namjoon just quickly bathed with a towel, not feeling like having a full shower, and went to bed.

Yet, she couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned in the sheets, ending up facing the dark ceiling after what felt like an eternity. She didn't like unfinished conversations, and Jungkook's words weren't leaving her mind. She kept thinking if she would have the guts to tell him about her nightmares and self-doubts and how she was afraid to get him involved. She truthfully was scared to do it, she didn't want his image of her to be tarnished by something she didn't even remember happening. Yet the frequency and consistency of her nightmares were too great to ignore. She was certain she had at least witnessed a few terrible things she wasn't too keen on facing just yet.

But at the same time, she detested the thought of him thinking something that wasn't true. All he knew was that she admitted to avoiding him, but not knowing why opened doors. And she hated the perspective of him thinking things like she didn't like him, or their kiss, or anything else along those lines.

She bit her lip and closed her eyes. Did she like him? Hell, she couldn't really say that, she didn't dislike him, and she probably liked to find comfort in his arms more than she ought to. But it was too confusing, even to her.

She turned to the side to face him just like before Namjoon interrupted them, only this time she was on her right side instead of left. His eyes were closed and his breathing was a soft breeze. She puffed silently, she hated with a passion going to bed with things left unsaid. So against her best judgment, she searched for his hand to get a little bit of comfort that could get her to sleep.

She found it and gently moved her fingers, trying to hold it. She held her breath when his fingers aided her and intertwined with hers. Her stomach swirled. She squeezed his hand very slightly to confirm he was awake. It had for sure been at least one hour since they'd gone to bed, so maybe he was just doing it in his sleep.

He squeezed it back stronger than she had so there would be no mistaking it. His eyes opened and she wondered if he had fallen asleep in the first place. He looked tired and awake. She got closer to him, making sure they could speak the most silent whisper and still hear each other. It was likely that Namjoon was already asleep on the other side of the room since they could hear his light snoring.

She opened her mouth several times, indecisive about what to say. He wasn't helping; now that he knew she wanted to say something, his eyes were completely focused on her, waiting for nothing else but for her lips to move. That kind of attention was distracting and her brain didn't fair well in that kind of heat.

She ended up sighing and he was very much aware of it, "It's difficult to explain."

He heard her and squeezed her hand. He was happy they were talking about it because he wasn't sure he'd be able to sleep without finishing their conversation. And without sleep, he couldn't really function.

He felt a weight in his stomach. "Try."

She sighed again and took a moment to think, to decide. So much time passed she feared he had fallen asleep, "I don't know what to say. Jungkook? Are you awake?" He would have answered if she'd given him more than a nanosecond. "I don't know how to explain. I just don't want you to think I didn't like it. That's not it at all. I liked it."