"what the fuck lilith!"
i stand up from her lap with my hands on my hips. probably looking like a soccer mom. but she looks just as stunned as i do. it's been lilith this whole time?
it's been her all this fucking time. she knew about the bet before i even told her. she told me to tell her. all this time.
from the nights where i'd spend talking about her, to herself. talking about how much i liked lilith, and how much i wanted to be her girlfriend one day.
like a fucking idiot. i did not want lilith to know that stuff. and i know it's probably my fault for trusting someone like that.
now i just feel like an idiot. a complete idiot. how could i be so stupid? i felt safe here, and told her way too much.
there's no way she could say anything to make this better. my head is spinning and i feel like i might pass out.
"billie i can explain" she stands up, trying to reach for me but i take a step back. i don't want her to touch me.
not after this. i'm glad it was her, and not some freaky stalker. but that still does not make this okay in any shape or form.
it feels like my trust is broken. this all is so stupid. i am so stupid. god how could i? i must be the biggest idiot on the planet.
"explain." i fold my arms. i felt awkward, stupid, and like an idiot. it was like my whole world was collapsing.
i knew nothing she could say would make this better. i might just go jump off a cliff. this is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.
she takes a deep breath, opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out. of course. she doesn't even have an explanation.
maybe this whole thing was just a joke to her? it feels like she was playing with my feelings all along. like all she ever did, was to benefit herself.
"you don't even have one?" i want to stop the tears from falling. just as much as i wish this was a dream, but neither of them happen.
this isn't a dream.
this is the reason why i don't do relationships.
lilith opens her mouth again, but no words come out. of course they don't. she doesn't even know what to say.
"you know what, it's whatever. don't come here again, and don't come to the cafe ever again either. i never want to see you again."
"billie, please" but it's too late. i'm already out the door.
YOU ARE READING
NYX
Fanfictionshe's like the feeling of finding a song you've been looking for forever. or falling asleep while listening to the rain. or dancing in the kitchen while making cookies. in other words, she's perfect. perfect for me.
