𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘾𝘼𝙏 𝙄𝙉 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙃𝘼𝙏, 𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘶𝘺𝘢. 𝘯

𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙒𝙀'𝙍𝙀 𝙂𝙀𝙏𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙎𝙏𝙔 ; 𝙛𝙞𝙫𝙚

"hey.. i'm sorry-"

he quickly cut you off. "did i say you could hug me? and what rhe hell do you have to be sorry about?" he dusted off his shirt and allowed himself to be frustrated again.

"chuuya, i really am sorry."

his sea-blue eyes met with yours, trying to read you as you did with him. was he genuinely mad? i mean, he had reason to be.. but you were trying to apologize.

chuuya studied your body language, but he couldn't understand any of it. he didn't know what this apology meant, he couldn't remember who you were.

"i don't accept it then." he scoffed and pushed past you to try and head to his office, as he was supposed to be heading there anyways.

you grabbed his arm, and he turned around to look back at you. "what more do you want from me?"

he rolled his eyes and fixated his gaze forward again.

"i want you to go through what i went through. twice. do you even know.. how much it hurt? having the only people you care about, leaving you?" he pulled his arm away, and stood there, almost like it was for effect. "were we not.. good enough for you?" is all he could manage to spit out before walking away.

you couldn't even comprehend what he had said. saying you felt bad was an understatement.

had you leaving fucked with his mind that much? shit.

-

"fuck!" chuuya threw one of his wine glasses at the wall, before sitting at his desk with his hands on his head and elbows touching the wood. he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. when you had hugged him, it brought up a few memories of you, nothing extreme, just of when you left, and how he spiralled afterwards. otherwise he was in the dark, he didn't know who you were.

most of what he said was a lie, so why was he on the verge of a breakdown?

his breathing picked up pace as he leaned back in his chair and studied the ceiling. he barely knew who you were and he wanted you dead.

so, like he had done multiple times in the past year, he drowned his sorrows in his wine.

glass, after glass.

but it didn't help, it only masks the pain after all. when he sobers up, it's all gonna come back to him.

but even for a little bit, it makes him feel better.

so he poured a glass, drank it, poured another one. over and over again. it's an endless cycle.

a cycle that's eventually going to kill him, from the inside out.

-

there was a knock on your door.

"come in!"

it was kouyou. you had always liked her, she acted as a parent to you when mori had found you, and to this day, she's still your favourite person in the mafia.

"[f/n]. have you seen chuuya anywhere? i wanted to check on him." you say on the end of your bed.

it had been a few hours since you had talked with him last, but you wanted to apologize. you texted him but he ignored it, or hadn't seen it.

"last i knew, he was heading to his office. but do you mind if i come with you?" you gave her a small smile.

"sure."

there was pretty much just silence the entire walk to chuuyas office, minus one question she had just asked.

"how has life been treating you?" well, you left the port mafia, became an assassin, came back, chuuya hates your guts and looks like he wants to murder you, and you don't even know if he remembers you.

"all is well." you smiled. "except for everything.." you mumbled that last part so she wouldn't hear.

once you had gotten there, she knocked before calling out his name. once he didn't respond, she walked in, and you followed close behind.

shit.

chuuyas head was rested on the desk, his body falling limp in his chair, his hat was off his head and to the side, hair disheveled and two empty wine bottles. oh, and a smashed wine glass in the corner of the room.

she walked up to chuuya and placed two fingers against his neck.

"he's alive, just looks like he relapsed. not like he was sober long anyways." she sighed before rubbing her hand on his shoulder while looking at you.

"i noticed him drinking a little bit, but not full bottles.." you stood in the doorway awkwardly.

"that's chuuyas version of sober. but if you don't mind, could you shut the door for me? i don't want anyone seeing him like this." you stepped away and shut the door. "will he be okay?"

you realized you didn't have your hat and mask on when you left. had you been that carefree that you forgot it? fucking hell.

"he'll be completely fine. hungover, but fine." she sighed. "say.. will you take care of him while he's hungover? i'll get someone to move him to his room, but can you stay with him?"

-

you really didn't get a say in the matter, considering the fact that you were behind akutugawa, who was carrying chuuya.

could you not have left him there? i think it was a punishment for being an alcoholic.

his room was fairly close to his office, so it wasn't a long walk whatsoever.

kouyou opened the door for akutugawa who looked like he was going to die from doing such a simple task. poor kid.

chuuyas room wasn't particularly fancy, but it was nice. gave off modern rustic vibes or whatever, he had a few pictures up.

but there was one picture, one picture that you couldn't understand why he still had up. it was  photograph from when you and dazai were in the port mafia, all three of you got together and took a photo. the glass on the outside was cracked, but the picture itself was in mint condition.

you had lost your copy of the photo a year or two ago, never did find it.

dazai never took one, said it was 'useless'.

but the fact that chuuya still has his, and kept it safe is.. wow.

after all these years, he never gave up on you.

-

this will be the last chapter before school starts, as it's starts on tuesday and i will be doing inschool rather than online, so no more posting during the day. i know the chapters were scattered throughout the months (so sorry) i will still be trying to get a chapter out per month, if that.

with that being said, goodbye :)