𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘾𝘼𝙏 𝙄𝙉 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙃𝘼𝙏, 𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘶𝘺𝘢. 𝘯

𝘼𝙏𝙇𝘼𝙎 ; 𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙚

chuuya watched the interaction between the two of you. he kept his eyes on dazai as well, making it hard on him to relax. more specifically, you. he didn't want you to go home with this son of a bitch.

but at the same time, he didn't have control over your actions. what was he to do? force you not to go with him? or let you go with the stranger?

he was conflicted. was he to protect you? or let you possibly get hurt?

fuck!

he could.. always just go flirt with the guy you were flirting with. i mean, dazai told him he looked like a gay porn star. he could pull it off. but, than again, he doesn't care about you, so why is he so bothered by this? he rolled his eyes, calling over the bartender as he ordered another drink.

about a half hour passed, and the last time chuuya drank this much was when dazai left the port mafia, ah, the memories. anyways, you left awhile ago and he seen dazai head into the bathroom with whoever he was flirting with. he wasn't sure if he should wait for you to get back, or just leave.

he chose the latter, but then he was conflicted on the wether or not he should drop dazai off? again, he chose the latter.

heading into the bathroom expecting them to be in a stall, but dazai was leaned against the countertops with his arms resting behind him while his.. 'friend' deep throated his dick. not a pretty sight, but he's certainly seen this throughout the years.

chuuya rolled his eyes, looking down at the girl who tried to stop, but dazai kept holding her hair, pushing her down. he refocused on him. "come on, [f/n] left. i'm gonna drop you off and head home."

the brunette tossed his head back, revealing his sharp jawline. "just give me a few more minutes, i'll be out in a second."

chuuya groaned, slowly turning around leaving. he heard dazai stifle a moan ma he knew it was certainly time for him to leave.

meanwhile, you were having tea with a rather sophisticated man. the guy you left the bar with asked multiple times if you were okay, and honestly? you werent. you decided to stop, and just have a conversation with him while you sobered up.

he was rather nice, you gave him your number and vice-versa. he even let you explain the situation with chuuya and how he's an ass.

"so, like- this guy overdosed like four years ago," you sighed. "and when i tried to comfort him he said, and i quote: 'i don't want your fucking pity.'" you groaned, slamming your head down on his dining room table. "what a jackass." he coughed, taking another hit of his joint. "you're telling me, he missed you, and then when you try and care about him, he gets mad? he needs some anger management."

you coughed from the sudden smell of weed entering your nose, it was a familiar sent. a calming one. "and the worst part is the fact that he asked if i fucked one of our closest friends a couple years ago, i lied and said no to see what he'd do. he seemed jealous." atlas took in the information as he thought to himself quietly. "yo, dude, can i have a hit of that? i don't want to remember today."

he nodded and handed you it, watching as you put it up to your mouth and smoked it. the taste of weed always bothered you, it felt like it was burning off your taste buds. but the feeling of euphoria that came afterwards was amazing, the way it made your brain feel fuzzy and made all your emotions go away.

"i say fuck with his head. pretend not to care about him, go fuck someone else. if he actually cares, he'll say something. if he doesn't care, i'm always available." he slightly winked as you laughed softly. "that's the idea. but i'm pretty sure his brain is like fucked," you made an explosion sound. "he couldn't remember me when i first showed up, his emotions switch like the clap of someone's hands. i think he's bipolar or some shit."

"so, dazai then. what's your opinion on him?"

"he's fucked in the head, he's flirty, he's suicidal, he's a maniac. but by far, he's better than chuuya." you sighed, rubbing your temples. "so. much. better."

he put the joint in the ashtray, lighting another one almost simultaneously. by this point, the whole room stunk of weed. 

"i say leave him again. traumatize him further."

you quickly let out a cough due to the smokey air: "i'm not gonna traumatize him further. i don't want him to kill himself." atlas rolled his eyes in anger. "so, tell me this," he paused. "do you care for him?" you nodded quickly. of course you care for him, you've been through hell with him.

"do you love him?"

there's the million dollar question.

it's only been maybe a week since you've been back, but it's resurfacing a bunch of feelings from back when you were younger. yeah, you had feelings for chuuya before you left. that was the half the reason you left. partners in crime can't have feelings for eachother, that's just stupid. when you left, all these feelings got pushed down, but seeing him made you feel some type of way, especially after five years..

every time you talked to dazai, which wasn't often, he told you about chuuya. and every time, a little piece of your heart shattered further. you knew that he had to take antidepressants, you knew that his alcoholic intake got larger and larger. every time you heard about him, you physically had to restrain yourself from going to see him. that night, it was by chance. you got lucky.

"[f/n], are you alright? you went awfully quiet."

you looked up at atlas with a soft gaze, feeling your face go pale.

"yes.."

he looked confused. "what-?"

"yes, i love him."

confessing that yourself was a start.