Your Dark Stars - Highschool K/DA x Male Reader

113 - I ain't scared of living

"Are you following?"

I cross my arms as I state, "I am. This is all pretty new to me and I haven't really gotten deep into music theory at all so you are just throwing random words towards me at this point."

Michelle rubs her eyes, "Okay. Let's take a break before you give me any more heart conditions."

"Not funny."

"I know, you are impossible to work with," then lifting herself, "Let's just take a small break, you haven't told anyone about anything have you?" she asks me.

"You made it clear not to tell anyone," I can't help but sound upset about it.

"It is for the best, besides nobody even knows if I will survive or die so if I were you I'd take this a lot more seriously," then dropping back down in her seat, "So. How are the other four doing? You can keep secret that all five of you want to have an orgy but I am not that stupid."

"What is the point of this question?"

"After school," she asks, "You know that if I survive then I am taking you under my wing, if I die I am sending you to a music school that I studied at and I can promise that it is better than anyone else currently."

"Can you stop referring to you dying so lightly?"

"Don't get defensive towards me for my sake, that's just weird," then clearing her throat, "What about them?"

I sigh, "I don't know, Akali says she might have to plan ahead of time because her family has gotten stricter and stricter when it comes to what she can do outside of school. Kai'Sa said she wants to continue studying and the other two are still figuring out."

She nods, "Sounds like a lot of uncertainty - you should leave them to do their thing and come back to them when you are done with work and finding yourself," she then smiles at me as I give her a confused look, "IF they aren't around then they never liked you, besides, you shouldn't be the one distracting them in the first place because then we reach a point where you are all killing each other."

"Right," I then sigh, "How are you doing with Illiya?"

"Why are you asking?" she asks me, "Starting to love your sister again?"

"I am just asking. Weren't you interested?"

"Maybe," she lifts her shoulders, "She isn't really my type now that I am being honest, she has this thing about her where she isn't scared to call things out as it is and I hate people that can do that to me."

"You hate yourself?"

She rolls her eyes, "It is different if I am doing the calling out, are you even listening to a word I am saying?"

"You are twisted."

"In all the good ways," I chuckle at the fact that she takes pride in it, Michelle is her own person and... I can't believe that she is so casual about dying like she is keeping it around like a sarcastic joke.

She then points to the mixing table, "Enough talking, back to work."

***   ***   ***

The four of us are sitting in the music class. We have the ball tonight and then we have to prepare for the competition this weekend - time is passing by us and I am surprised we got Akali to come out today.

She is sitting next to me, "You think the Kinkou lets me show up?"

"They will-"

"We have a replacement for me just in case," she states, then with a sigh, "We will figure it out I guess," then rubbing her temples, "They have just been killing me lately, even worse than before."

"Do you need to crash at my place?"

She shakes her head, "I can't risk making them any more skittish than they already are, you are sweet but... I'll get through it."

"Akali-"

"I won't be running away. I promise."

I nod slowly, I can't tell her that I hate promises because I would do the same just to get people not to worry about me... even if it isn't the truth there isn't anything she can do. It is all out of her control and it is just draining her.

I tap my knee as the rest of us wait for Michelle to finally let us in on the rest of the plans.

Seraphine then walks up to the two of us, "Are you two ready?"

Akali answers for me, "We are fine, just kind of waiting for everything to just happen. You know?"

She giggles, "We will all be awesome."

I mentally drift from the conversation, these past few days feel like it has been nothing but a rush. Just too many things are happening, I don't even find myself listening when Michelle is explaining to everyone what to expect and how to warm up for what is to come.

"Hey, you are spacing out?"

"Hmm?" I lift my head to see Michelle looking at me with crossed arms, "Sorry."

She lowers herself down into the seat opposite of me, "Talk to me, kid."

I sigh, "I am worried about Akali not being able to make it, that there is a chance that-"

"Let her go then," she answers, I get angry only to see a serious expression, I then sigh, "I know you love the girl but at what point are you going to realise her staying with shit bags is a one-way ticket towards her own personal hell. She is already living it, don't be the one causing her to relive it forever."

I nod, "I guess. Then there is you..."

"Worrying about me?" she asks, I nod slowly.

"How long do you have?"

She chuckles, "I don't even know anymore. I don't think I am sticking around because of my health, whatever sick god that is looking out for me... he is probably waiting for the time to send me to the hospital at the worst of times."

"Does Illiya know?"

"She knew before you," she admits.

"What do I do-"

"When I keel over?" she chuckles, "I don't need a hero, call the ambulance. Meds are keeping me alive and at some point if that doesn't even help? They either cut me open and rid me of this dying heart or let it be the death of me."

She then lifts herself, resting her hand on my shoulder, "Just..." she sighs, "I don't know what to tell you, but if there is anything you ever need to learn from me, (Y/N). Hell... I want you remember this even when I am long gone."

"Don't be scared to live."