BIBLE
Fuck!
There's nothing more sobering than the truth.
"I... of course I like you," I stutter, barely managing to get my words across. "We're friends." I add lamely.
"Okay," Jeff says, his eyes not shifting from mine.
"Okay?"
Wait? That's it? What the hell does me mean by Okay?
He tries to move but I grab onto his hard, unwilling to let this go. I was hoping he would push me further but he's willing to take my word at face value?
I can't explain the disappointment that clouds me.
"Okay," he repeats. "If you say that you like me just as friends then I will accept it."
"What would happen if I said that I liked you more than just friends?" I blurt out.
Jeff smiles softly at me, withdrawing his hand from my grip. "I guess we'll never know. I'll go get you a glass of juice or something from the kitchen."
I watch him leave, rooted to the ground. My eyes don't move from the door he disappeared into to look around his home. I've always been curious about his home but now I'm too distracted to even focus on that.
His words revert through my brain like a thought that just won't quit.
I can't help but wonder the kind of reaction my confession would draw from him.
"Hey Bible, do you prefer Apple or Orange juice?" he asks, peeking from the door. His hair fans his face in a way it always does when he is one stage performing and I fight the need to walk up to him and push it back from his face.
"Bib?"
"Uh?" I look up to meet his eyes.
"I asked what you wanted to drink."
"Wine? Do you have any?"
"Anything with alcohol does not count. Now, do you want Orange or-"
"I like you."
The silence in the room is deafening and my heart threatens to jump up and choke me. No, I had no intentions of speaking out the words but something about Jeff... he just, wipes all logical thoughts from my brain.
And I love it just as much as I hate it but right now, I don't know what to feel.
"Do you mean as friends?"
"No."
He doesn't shift his eyes from mine. "Then what do you mean?"
"Do you really want me to spell it out for you?" I snark, getting frustrated. "We've both acted in BL series, you more than me, you should be familiar with the word."
The blank expression doesn't change from his face after my explosion. He is calm as he leans against the wall, watching me.
"I have acted in boy love series, yes. I know what like means in those contexts. I want to know what it means to you."
Fuck!
I want to run away from this situation and hide somewhere and not show my face for at least a decade or something but with the way he's watching me, I can't move a muscle.
It's not like Jeff is fiercely intimidating. Well, at least physically. We are actually evenly matched in strength but in this moment, I feel like I cannot match him.
He definitely has the upper hand here.
He has every advantage to break me and crush my soul.
"Bib?" I look up to find him standing in front of me, with no idea how and when the hell he even moved there. I must have been too lost in my head to notice.
