JEFF
I must be losing my mind.
I get up to go after him when someone grabs my hand and pulls me back down to my seat.
"Are you insane?" Apo whispers harshly into my ear. "The others are going to talk if you leave right after he does."
I shrug off his hand and get up, ignoring the attention I am drawing to myself. I don't even bother to hide the fact that I am going after Bible.
They can think whatever it is they want but... the truth...
I don't know the truth either.
If I am being completely honest with myself, I have no idea why I follow Bible in the first place. He is so distracted by his phone that he doesn't even notice me following him behind as he makes his way past the pool area.
I catch the tail end of his conversation before he hangs up. I watch as he shrugs the phone into his pocket before turning to me.
There is a genuine shock on his face when he looks up to meet my eyes. Like he is surprised to learn that I followed him all the way here.
Because why would I? We are over, right?
He is free to do whatever it is he pleases, right?
"Jeff?" my name on his lips is like a taste of hell.
Flaming hot.
I take a step forward and he takes one back. There is an uncertain look in his eyes as he backs away from me.
"Jeff, what are you doing?"
I don't know.
I have no fucking clue what I am doing but what I do know... what I feel, is this burning sensation in my chest that roars for me to punish him.
He did this....
He fucking did this when he let another man touch him.
"Jeff?" he whispers, nervously, looking around to see if there are other people around but I don't care to look.
I don't care that we are in the open... exposed.
His back hits the wall and a hiss slip from his lips at the impact. I don't stop until I am standing right in front of him.
"Did you like it?" I ask, watching him.
"Like what?" his eyes are confused, as though he has no clue what the hell I am talking about but he is not a good pretender. Never. "What the hell is going on with you Jeff?"
I lift a hand and trace it on his cheek the way he did with Build. He seemed to enjoy watching Build blush.
Is that what he likes now?
Shy guys, who flush red at the barest touch of skin?
Does he like them when they avoid his eyes? Am I too... much for him now?
You broke up. A voice whispers in my head. He is not yours.
I run my hand over his cheek, and he tries to evade the touch but I don't let him. I trace it down his chin before stopping at his neck. He sucks in hair when I run my fingers over his Adam's apple, before tightening my fingers against his skin.
"Did you like it?" I ask again, my eyes burning into his.
Bible looks away but I don't let him, my hand tightening and forcing his focus back on me.
"Why do you care?"
Aah, he knows what I am talking about.
"I don't care," I lie. "I don't care what you do when the film is rolling, Bible."
"Then why are you here? Why did you follow me if you don't care, Jeff?"
"I wanted to find out if you were trying to make me jealous. Do you want to know whether or not it worked?"
"Jeff," he sighs. "Please don't do this."
The logical part of my brain knows it's in both our best interests if I push away from him and give him the space he wants.
The space we both need.
The other part of me... the darkest and most dominant part of me... wants to erase the memory of Build's touch on his skin.
"Did you like it, answer me?"
"Jeff..."
"Answer me!"
Bible's hands go to my chest and he shoves me away from him.
"I didn't," he shouts. "Is that what you want you to hear? It didn't turn me on to have someone else run their hands over me. It didn't turn me on when I kissed my ex-girlfriend, I felt nothing when Build touched me either. Are you happy now?"
No, I am not happy.
His words do nothing to erase the memory of someone else touching him right in front of me and those photos...
I haven't been able to erase them from my mind.
"It didn't turn you on? You could have fooled me with your loud moans."
"Are you crazy? God! I can't with your double standards."
"How the hell is this double standard? I never let anyone touch my naked skin or make moaning noises in front of people. Someone kissed my fucking cheek Bible. It was an innocent fucking kiss but what you did today goes above and beyond innocent."
"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you not the one who told me that you don't care what I do onscreen?"
"And you think that "anything" equals humping the chair as another man touches you..."
"God! Jeff. I am not yours. I don't belong to you anymore, you no longer have any right to tell me what I can and cannot do!"
No.
He is wrong.
I have every right to him... to his mind... his body...
Or he wouldn't tremble the way he does when I run my hands over hisbody.
