JEFF
Bible and I are not together.
Nothing between us has changed and we have a lot we need to get out of the way before we should get to this point but...
Walking into him coming from the shower. His body dripping with water, his muscles contracting with every move...It was just too much and, I'm only human.
I can only take too much before I finally snap.
His body is tense against mine but he makes no move to get away.
He wants this just as much as I do.
Craves me just as much as I do him.
"Nothing between us is going to change," he gasps as I jerk his off, running my other hand over his solid abs.
"I know but... can we forget all about everything. At least for tonight?"
I withdraw my hands from his shorts and a whine escapes his lips from the move. I turn him so he's facing me. Since we are both the same height, my eyes meet his to find lust clouding them.
I don't think I did anything wrong. I don't believe I need to apologize for putting my career above our relationship and not giving into his childish ultimatums but... right in this very moment, I want to apologize even if it's fake. Anything to bring us back to the way we were before.
Part of me knows we might never get to that point again but... we have tonight.
I want him and ... it's obvious that he still wants me.
"I missed you, Bib" I say, leaning and brushing my lips softly against his. "I thought..."
"Stop," he says, his breath coming off shallowly.
"Stop?"
"Stop saying words you don't mean, Jeff."
"You don't know what I mean and..."
"No," he places a hand on my lips, shutting off my words. "I don't want to hear sweet nothing from you right now. This is just physical. When we wake up tomorrow morning, nothing will have changed."
I grab his hand and draw it away from my lips.
"If nothing we do tonight changes what happens tomorrow, then nothing I say should affect you, right? Or do you not want to hear how much I missed you."
"Jeff," his eyes flatter to a close when I lean and nuzzle his neck.
"Do you not want to hear how I jerked off all weekend until I was raw, thinking of you Bible. Wishing it was your hand on me...touching me... hoping it were your lips around my length."
He sucks in a breath at my words. We haven't gone further than simply giving each other hand jobs and I can't help but question whether he's thought about it too.
"Kiss me," he says softly when I nip gently at the skin under his chin.
I kiss a path up his chin and my control snaps when our lips brush against each other. His arms go around me and he pulls me flush against him. My lips part willingly as his tongue sneaks in to stroke mine and everything else becomes static.
"Fuck Bible," I breath when I come up for air but he leans in, bringing our lips together as his hands run over my body with a hunger so raw and yet...
It's not enough. It doesn't feel enough.
I can never get enough of Bible.
"I thought about it," he whispers against my lips. "I want to do it."
My mind is blank from having his hands on me that for a moment I don't understand what he's saying until he starts kissing a trail down my body. I watch in undiluted shock as he falls to his knees.
And what a sight.
The strong and all powerful Bible Sumettikul on his knees for me!
I look down to meet his eyes and there is a sense of determination on them. His eyes are still on me as he takes my length into his mouth and I lose my mind.
I lose all functioning brain cells as every focus on my body goes to the mouth pleasuring me.
To Bible's lips. His touch.
Everything that happens after that is a flurry of hands, lips and heavy emotions, and hours later. At least it feels like hours, we find ourselves in bed with lax bodies shimmering with sweat, breathing heavy and eyes locked on each other.
I reach out and run a hand over his, resisting the temptation to ask him whether being with me felt anything like being with his ex.
"I thought you would call," he says, his eyes watching mine intensely. "I kept waiting for you to call, or text and apologize for what happened."
"Bible...."
"I know we weren't supposed to talk about this tonight but...It hurts, you know," he shifts his body to lie on his back and stares at the ceiling. "What hurts more than not getting an apology from you is knowing that you not even sorry."
Apologize.
Say you are sorry even if you don't mean it.
"I don't believe I need to apologize for doing my work," I say, ignoring my inner voice. "I don't view working with another artist as cheating. It's like I said, Bible, I don't care what you do with other male artists as long as it's for your work."
Bible lifts his arm over his eyes.
"That day, at the photoshoot, Build touched me," he says still covering his eyes with his arm. "It was such an innocent touch but it sent my skin crawling with ants and yesterday morning after your show, I kissed my ex. I ran my hands over her full breasts but it felt wrong."
So he didn't sleep with his ex?
There is no explaining the sense of relief that brings me. I still hate that he touched her and even kissed her but... it didn't go past that.
"I kept thinking why it was so easy for you to let someone else touch you, Jeff. Kiss you in front of all those people and just smile."
I sit up and face him. "Bible, it's called acting. You have done it on screen what's so different..."
"Because it's different. On screen I am pretending to be someone else when I kiss someone. I am Vegas when I have sex with another guy but right now.... Right now, I am Bible and the man that kissed you, he kissed Jeff Satur and not fucking Kim!"
I realize with a heavy heart that this is never going to work. My body is still getting from the high and my mind isn't settled yet but there's not ignoring my bleeding heart.
"I'm sorry you feel that way," I say pushing up and out of the bed, heading for mine.
"You're sorry?" he scoffs.
"Yes, Bible." I say without turning to look at him. "I wanted us to work things out but it seems to me like you want me to sacrifice my work to spare your ego, I refuse to do that."
The room is silent after my words.
"Jeff," his words come chocked up but I stand rooted to the ground, unwilling to be moved. "Jeff, you kept telling me that off-screen, I'm yours and I took that to heart. I told myself, the world could have Kim. They could have Kim or all the other characters you've played before and ship them with whomever they liked as long as I get to keep Jeff Satur."
"I am Jeff Satur whether I am on screen or off it. There is no changing that, Bible."
"I see that now."
