[3] how did we end up here ;; nh

16 » Midnight Confusion

New York City, New York, United States of America, 11th September 2022

The warmth sensation of water coming from my bathroom shower overwhelms my skin, I close my eyes to enjoy the warmth. I let the water makes my whole body wet, including my hair which starts to get a little bit greasy due to my today's activity. Golf driving and going to the golf course to take the 18 holes are enough to burn my skin and energy, not to mention it helps me to forget what has happened this morning – well, a bit.

My eyes are still closed, my hands are placed in parallel with my thighs, letting them that used to feel sore relax a little bit. I turn off the shower, wipe the water on my face with both of my hands, and grab the soap.

After showering and drying my body with the towel in my bathroom, I wrap the towel around my waist, and put on my clothes; the white shirt and boxers.

"Hey Alexa, play The Best of My Life by Eagles," I request as I enter my workspace.

The guitar instrument starts to radiate from the air, the intro plays before entering the verse 1. Sitting on my office chair, I rest my head on the backrest and put my hands on the arm pads. My body pushes back as my legs gently push the chair back, making the casters roll back and creating more distance between me and my workbench.

"Oh-oh-oh-oh, sweet darling,

You get the best of my love," I hum the chorus as my eyes are closed, enjoying the strains of the song. A glimpse of Anne's face is popping up in the darkness – when my eyes are closed, I can feel the sense of her touch, which, I still remember until now. The tenderness of her kiss will remain in my brain. The scene of memories when we were still together is projected inside my brain, it's like when I close my eyes, it's a movie theater. As the room gets dark, the movie scene starts; recollecting all the good memories we have recorded.

The laugh, the smile, the conversation, the kiss, the touch, the fight, the argument, the sleepless night, and everything are there, they are projected clearly.

Maybe Avril is right, I haven't moved on from Anne.

My eyes are opened all of a sudden, collecting the thoughts of what I have done lately to Avril as perhaps, it hurts her so bad. Now I acknowledge she has grown some feelings for me and instead of being happy, I feel terrified about it. I'm terrified by the fact that there is a huge possibility that I will hurt her.

Anne's name is still ringing in my head and somehow, I'm in love with this girl that I have known for 7 years; yes, it's Avril. The first time I see her, I never thought that she would be this special to me.

She has a special space in my heart.

Frustrated, I cover up my face with both of my palms. Having 7 years of a relationship is not an easy pathway to forget, I can tell. There are memories I can't escape. At least, I'm trying to move on. Why can't Avril see that in her eyes? I have never hung out with any girl but her.

"Foolish heart, heed my warning,

You've been wrong before,

Don't be wrong anymore," I scream while singing Foolish Heart by Steve Perry, trying to convince myself that I won't get fooled by my feelings over again. Shit, this is confusing.

Dodging the chaotic thoughts about love, I bring my office chair to get closer to the workbench. My head is up and my hand is opening up my laptop, trying to collect and check up on the updates coming from my employees. The PGA Championship is the biggest concern right now as my players' capability to join tournaments is in question. But I have no idea though, the next step will be measured not only by me but also I need to listen to a good friend of mine, Mark McDonnell as I schedule a meeting with him as soon as possible. Well, the Covid-19 pandemic has created a new habit, in which, the opportunity to have an online meeting is such a blessing for me due to my current hectic schedule. I don't think it is possible to have a meeting in person these days and if the Covid-19 outbreak didn't happen, the world's habits would not shift. That's still a good thing though.