[3] how did we end up here ;; nh

4 » Resilience and Reconciliation

New York, United States of America, the same day as before

I gasp as I hear Anne calling me.

What is the call for? Isn't that obvious the fact that she has moved on to somebody else when he wrapped her arms around her last night? In addition, I don't think if we can ever be back together our relationship is going to work. I can't see her as much as I can see her back in the OTRAT since she's a lawyer now and she gets to travel all around the world for her client's arbitration hearings. It's really hard for both of us to overcome our schedules – especially when I was on Flicker World Tour and she was busy researching several memorandums for her clients as well as going abroad for several hearing sessions.

Perhaps, that's the reason we're not together anymore; as much as I love Anne, our on-and-off relationship during our bustle is too exhausting to experience. I realize it.

I may be in sorrow for years and years, feeling numb for another girl I have met; kiss them on the lips and break their heart just to overcome my sorrow until it feels like nothing but distant memories.

"It's okay if you want to answer the phone, I can drive if you want to," tells Avril to me as it distracts my thoughts about what has happened to me and Anne.

I don't even know what is her purpose to call me. "It's okay, we can just go eat our McDonald's at my apartment and then go to the airport," I answer.

I can sense Avril's skepticism after receiving my answer, in which, I believe she is going to say anything to make sure whether or not I'm okay with not answering Anne's call. To be honest, it hurts me to see Anne with another guy. But that's what I'm doing this whole time; I've been dating numerous girls whenever we are in the off phase of the relationship and then going back to her after I break up with the girls I'm dating with.

I believe Anne is smart enough to think that I'm completely an asshole, despite the fact that I'm a funny guy. It's not an unprecedented circumstance I believe.

"Niall, it's okay if you don't want to answer, but if I may know, what's happening between you both?" asks Avril. I know she has been very curious about Anne at the very beginning, or at least when she and the other member of One Direction finds out about Anne back in 2017. I haven't told them anything about Anne, all I'm saying is she's someone that I'm seeing. But I don't think Anne has the time to meet all of my friends due to her unalterable schedule, plus I don't think she's comfortable enough to publish our relationship. Perhaps, she's too scared of the fans' thoughts about her.

Well, I think it's time for Avril to know what has happened between Anne and me. "I met her in 2015, right before OTRAT. It was in January I believe," I answer as I keep my eyes on the road to make sure my car is not going to bump into anyone.

"And?"

"Well, long story short we were in a relationship for...," I count for a moment, creating a gap between my sentence. "I think it's about six to seven years now? But we are in a very difficult situation, I was busy with the Flicker World Tour back in 2018 and the preparation for the Nice To Meet Ya Tour back in 2020, however, covid kicked out and it was a very nice time for both of us. We were at the on phase of our relationship throughout 2020 when I'm just busy making music at my apartment and she was busy writing memorandums as well as arbitration hearings through Zoom. But 2022 feels like a new normal and our relationship is just not working anymore, a dysfunctional one," I tell her as I'm trying to make it as concise as possible. "When we are in an off phase, I would date girls without feelings, you know just to fill the numb in my heart."

Avril keeps on silent for a moment. I know this may be a surprising confession because I used to lie to her about the fact that I don't really date anyone. I just don't like it if anyone knows my real story.