[3] how did we end up here ;; nh

10 » A Place to Reconcile Mission

New York, United States of America, 26th July 2022

Both of my eyes are squinted, focusing my sight on a little white ball that is placed in the middle of the track as my feet are standing outside of them. Holding the golf stick – club, I let out a slow swing to hit the golf ball, hoping it will get into the last hole after a series of holes.

"Yeah!" I shout excitedly when my club hits the little white ball within the circumference of the hole in a manicured lawn. The golf ball is holed. "Got it right, mate," I wink at Harry as I place my club in the golf bag and turn it to my caddy who carries my golf club.

Letting in the fresh air of the golf course in New York inside my lungs, I circulate my gaze around the green and hot green course. To be frank, my skin is almost burned by the sun. Luckily, Avril gets me sunscreen as protection.

Harry stands beside me and by looking at him, I'm happy at the fact that he's here, right beside me; he's not only a colleague in One Direction but also a very good friend of mine who used to tell me everything on his mind and vice versa. Going to a golf course in New York is the best choice to have since Harry and I haven't really caught up because he's too busy with his last two solo tours.

The golf course is about 13 miles away from Madison Square Garden, the place where our concert is going to be conducted. We ask the driver to drive us here and it is granted. So here we are, having a bro time.

"Ah... so this is what you got after missing a shot and falling on the golf course caddying for Rory Mcllroy," Harry pours as he laughs and places his last club in his golf bag.

My eyes glance at him. "Shut the fuck up."

Harry lets a little laugh come up from his mouth, makes me want to slice his throat for restoring the most memorable nightmare I've ever been through. I mean, I was caddying Rory Mcllroy and it was broadcasted on national television! An hour after the event, I remember I didn't want to go to any social media because I believe that I would be in every news headline; Niall Horan from One Direction is Falling on Golf Course Caddying for Rory Mcllory or One Direction Star Niall Horan Falls Off Caddying for Rory Mcllory.

Such a shame. What was worse to come as I slipped on the pine straw just as Rory Mcllroy and I were about to be interviewed by Kirsty Gallacher. To make it even worse, Ellen played the video on her show. As much as my mental seems fine at that time, I was embarrassed enough but I didn't want to show it. I was lucky enough that the unfortunate event at the Annual Masters Par 3 Contest didn't make Anne turn off for me.

Ah, I really need to get her off my mind.

To say the least, golfing is such an enjoyable routine to do. The darkest times sometimes haunt me and instead of keep partying with my friends, I will rather choose to go to the nicest golf course in town, rent the clubs, swing them, and get the golf ball into the hole. Keeping my brain active and thinking about how to swing the club right so that the golf ball will fall into the hole, makes me focus more on the game and less focus to the things that make me feel sad or anxious – especially when it comes to how to overcome my on and off relationship with Anne.

"BBC is like 'One Direction Star Niall Horan Falls Off Caddying for Rory Mcllory'," Harry says as he imitates the reporter from BBC.

I roll my eyes at the response.

"Driving?" he asks as we start walking away from the last teeing ground – the area from which we play our last stroke on each hole.

"It's 1 p.m. already," I say, matching my steps with Harry's as the caddies are following next to us. "I think we should go since we need to do the sound check before the concert."