GRIM REAPER¹, bellamy blake

036 ━━ lost

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"DO NOT regret," Iona says as Clarke approaches the mess hall.

Iona can read the guilt on her face as she takes in the room full of dead women, men, and children. Her eyes were replaying scenes to her, so many that Iona could almost see them play out on her end, and her lips were quivering as she watched.

Iona's been in Clarke's shoes. Her first massacre had been the worst. She hadn't slept for days, eaten healthily for weeks, and drinking was something she was forcibly reminded of.

Never before had she experienced such aggressive mental trauma.

It took a toll on her for as long as she could remember, until one day, she realized how bad those individuals were, and how much they deserved it. The woman who had killed a mother and orphaned a child. The man that killed his own wife and was abusing his children.

They were serious matters, and their deaths only helped spur on the idea that there's a fine line between right and wrong.

Sure, Iona killing people wasn't right, but she was commander, and the way she ran things was the way it was. There was no changing it, and there was no overruling her decisions. Once she realized she had this power- yes, she abused it, and was rightfully punished- everything became easier for her to bear.

Eventually, the killing wasn't so hard, and the pain just faded into nothingness. She had become numb to the sensations.

Clarke might not understand that now- and she might not understand for months, perhaps even years to come, but she'll get it one day.

One day, it'll all just click, and everything will become numb for her, just like it had for Iona.

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Iona didn't know where she was going anymore.

As the Sky People were freed, they headed off in the direction of their camp, but Iona stood near Athena instead. They were heading home, but her home was gone. Iona no longer had a home; she simply had the remnants of the burning tightrope she tried to keep traversing.

Her tightrope was beginning to break, and all she could see beneath it was the darkness of a starless abyss.

Iona would be able to survive just fine in the wild. She'd done it all those years ago and she could do it again- easier this time, eve, considering she was older and far more mature- but that still didn't ease the pain in her heart.

She'd been disowned by her clan, her cousin, and the people she considered her dearest family. Iona wasn't sure how to go about what to do next, merely staring into the white fur of Athena, gaze distant and cold.

As the final of the Sky People set off, she sighed to herself, puffing out her cheeks and sliding down a nearby tree.

Everything had changed for her within the past few weeks. It was all so fast, all so dizzying; all so intense. She got confused even thinking about how she'd gotten here and found it kind of comedic how one encounter had changed her life forever.

How one small favor had blossomed into a full-blown adventure, and that adventure turned into her overall downfall.

She'd expected her downfall to be on a battlefield one day, dying with her katana in hand, a proud commander of her clan, with tales to be told to her children and their children for centuries to come.

Maybe she would've made a difference- whether it be finally ending the Azgeda tribe, or even creating a whole new clan in its place.

That'd be fun, she concluded, she could start there.

However, as her brain pathed yet again to where to begin, she felt the energy drain her body and her willpower completely abandon her yet again.

For the first time in years, Iona Valana was lost.

Feeling a presence near her, her hand slyly reached for the weapon sitting nearby, all whilst maintaining her out-of-it look. Staring wordlessly at the ground, she relaxed when she recognized the tendrils of black hair as a figure slid down the tree beside her, planting themself right beside her.

"What are you doin' out here?" Bellamy questioned. He took a small stick, tossing it across the area, hitting it against the base of the tree opposite him.

"Enjoying the air," Iona replied sarcastically.

Bellamy hummed, nodding his head. It remained silent for a moment, as if he was planning his next question and processing what she might say in response.

"This have anything to do with the 'stuff you sacrificed' to save me?" He questioned, finally glancing over at her.

Iona sighed, biting the inside of her lip. It was clear she didn't particularly want to share how she was willing to lose her position as commander for a boy she'd met not even a month ago, and Bellamy didn't pry.

Instead, at her silence- which he took as a firm yes-, he stood up and offered his hand:

"Come on, let's head back to the Ark."

Iona stared at his hand, shaking her head, "Your people will not accept me."

"You saved my people," Bellamy reminded her, "and what happened to the whole your people thing?"

Iona scoffed, shrugging her shoulders, "It's not true and you know it."

He didn't say anything, only humming, and nodding to his hand.

If she took it, it'd mean a lot for her future. Iona would no longer be Iona from Trikru. She would no longer be the woman she's shaped herself to be all of her life, but instead become someone foreign- to both her and everyone she knows.

But, at the same time, this might be the best option she has. After all, Trikru did not accept traitors within their ranks.

So, Iona took his hand.

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