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BELLAMY KNEW he shouldn't have sided with Pike. Truth is, he was blindsided by Iona's sudden abandonment.
When she left, she left him vulnerable and exposed, and Pike took his opportunity to strike. He wasn't gentle, either, and planted nothing but cruel, false ideas in Bellamy's head that Iona was leaving because all of it was fake.
He shouldn't have trusted him but, in that moment, Pike was all he had.
So, Bellamy latched onto him and didn't let go.
He seemed so right, so honest, and everything stopped seeming like lies and eventually, he wondered if Iona even loved him enough to stay if he asked her to. Of course, Pike told him she didn't, and that's why she left.
Not only that, but she left to help Lexa create a plan to attack Arkadia from the inside; with her knowledge, and her connections, it didn't seem too far-fetched.
Bellamy had, at one point, even questioned if he loved her.
Of course, the second he saw her standing outside the gate, causing a riot over something she was so passionate about, he remembered why he fell in love with her in the first place, and how that love had never left.
When she was shot, lying lifelessly on the ground, something inside him snapped, and he hadn't even hesitated to shove every guard off of her and try to bring some life to the nearly dead woman.
When Abby insisted on taking her to the medical wing, he hardly even let her do that, too insistent upon keeping her in his arms, close to his chest, and murmuring all the reasons why he loved her- not only for her, but for him.
When Bellamy feared he'd lost the girl he knew he was hopelessly in love with, he decided he wouldn't live via more lies.
Pike wouldn't feed him anymore. Pike wouldn't get in his head anymore.
He couldn't let him- not anymore.
He needed to fix this.
Pike had every intention of killing Iona, despite making countless deals with Bellamy that all included her safely escaping each one with her life. It was stupid to even agree to the deals, Bellamy thought as he looked back, but he did it with her wellbeing in mind.
Of course, none of that mattered now. Iona wouldn't care if a decision made with the idea of a good outcome, but merely if that good outcome actually came true.
Which, in this case, it didn't.
Bellamy feared, now, for everything in his life.
Iona, who was walking the thin plank into the ocean, was emotionally distant and a part of him knew that she knew the truth. She hid it well, trying to pretend as if she didn't care about him and his actions didn't break her heart, but they did. He knew her well enough by now.
His clan- Skykru- was falling apart and seemed to be divided into even more mini segments than all of the other twelve clans put together. Everyone had their own idea of how things should actually happen and not enough people took action to make them happen.
Except for Pike.
That's why Bellamy thinks the man got so many followers. Even he had been drawn to the man's confidence and determination- they were qualities a good leader needs to have, and he hadn't given him a second thought.
He knows he should've. He knows it was stupid to dive headfirst into a cause he only believed in during the late hours of the night, when he can't sleep and allows his mind to roam endlessly without any hint of ceasing.
Yet, Bellamy remembers he was vulnerable and weak when the man found him, and twisted him around his finger until he was so strung up he just couldn't escape it.
His girlfriend had died, Iona confessed, they kissed- something that was life changing in both positive and negative senses- and proceeded to let their night get carried away with the feeling of each other.
Everything was so overwhelming that, at the time, Bellamy hadn't thought much about the state of his mental health.
Really, who does?
The world's constantly at war and Bellamy always finds him way to the center of it, but he's never questioned just how the actions weighed down on him until he met Iona. The woman shook his world, unleashing his bottle of feelings that just kept spilling.
He didn't even know how to describe it. Something about that woman just had him tight, as if she had a grip on his heart and was tugging him along her on some long journey.
Bellamy knows it's love. He knows he's so unbelievably in love with the woman that, sometimes, it's hard to breathe. He knows she loves him back- or, well, he knows she did. He's not too sure anymore.
He did awful things.
He knows he did.
Now, he just feels awful, and like he's about to lose the one person in the world who really seemed to stir his insides and get his real inner self to come out and play.
His heart clenches at that.
The first woman he's ever truly loved- wanted more than anything in the entire world- was going to be one of the first people he put to death with his newfound power in government. It gnawed at him, eating away at his insides.
He couldn't let that happen. Bellamy needed Iona, despite how much he tries to convince himself he doesn't. Love is weakness- he knows that; he's heard it all before- but this love, the one he shares with Iona, is a strength.
Sadly, it was too late to correct his mistakes made prior. He can't go back and press reverse and choose not to partake in that massacre. He can't go back in time and kill Pike before he has a chance to force and election.
But what he can do is ensure he makes the right choices now, and that starts with one thing: saving Iona.
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honestly idk i kinda feel bad for bells adyasdgaud
YOU ARE READING
GRIM REAPER¹, bellamy blake
Fanfiction❝are you afraid of me?❞ ❝of you? no. of what you can do? definitely.❞ ❝you should be afraid of all of me, sky boy.❞ A Trikru commander, Iona Valana, is spun into a new world when her sister dies by a Sky People massacre, and it leads to an unlikely...
