falling

questions

H: What is your essay about? - he asks as we walk beside each other down the streets to the inside court where he plays basketball. He bounces the ball on the concrete making a thud noise, I have my arms wrapped around me. I swear London is colder than Oslo in January.

J: About the social structure in Oslo, on how its become a divided city between East and West. I mean its always been. But, the resent years its become more vivid 

H: Isn't every major city?

J: It is. But, Oslo isn't that big compared to London or Paris, so when it is happening in that small amount of areal its more noticable and affects everyone living in it. Like for instance if things happen in Lambeth here, I doubt people in Kensington are affected by it. While in Oslo things happening in each part is still just a few metro stops away. 

He smiles a little - "Why Lambeth?"

I shrug "I don't know. I was there last time I was here and it reminded me of one of my favorite parts of Oslo. Like no matter how worn-out it was, there was so much beauty there... And I don't buy the politicians polarization of neighbourhoods because I think they are just adding fuel to already blown out of proportion problems. Rather fix it when you are in the position to, instead of speaking about how bad it is to live there, to the media.

When I finish my rant, I look up to see him watching me, instantly and with admiration?

J: Sorry that was a long rant to just why Lambeth. 

He smiles, and the haunted look in his eyes is replaced with gentleness, warmth and compassion

H: I grew up in Lambeth

J: Oh - I can't hide my surprise - I... 

H: And I agree with everything you are saying

I smile. I don't know what to make of this. I know that its one of the toughest neighbourhoods in London. And as much as I hate politicians and media for polarizing and polluting the conversations and debates about it, I am also aware of the statistics and the charts for the small space on the south side of London. He looks at me, a smile tugging at his lips while he holds his basketball with both hands in front of his torso, swaying it around with his open palms

"We're here" - he says and points with the basketball to the small door in the fancy old concrete four stories building

J: Here? There is a court in here? It looks more like a court house

He chuckles

H: Come, you'll be surprised - he goes first and motions with his head for me to follow, when stepping up the two stairs, opens the door and holds it for me to go in first. 

Wow. There is not only one court, but three courts, one is used for football and the two other are free. We step onto one of them, putting on our indoor shoes and leaving the others by the bench at the door. We shoot hoops, or he does, and I clumsy around barely able to hit the net. Basketball is so not my sport. I played handball and football in school, and danced. When he jumps he is like twice my size. Its probably comical to watch from distance. But I can't say I don't like the physical contact this sport provides.

His friend Freddie comes by later, they play on the same team. He shoots with us, and they play a little one-on-one while I stand behind and watch. Theo and girlfriend Delilah also come by, who I later learn is Freddies sister. I go and sit with them. They show interest in me, asking me random questions. I have a sense Theo loves Brandon, I don't know why but, its just a notion I get when I mention I am his fiancees sister. 

They want to go and grab a bite, Hero asks if that's okay? We can go home if I want. I tell him no, I'd like to hang out. I like his friends. I miss mine in Norway and as much as I love hanging out with Brandon and Chloe, its nice to hang out with people my age, where its all just light and laughter. 

At the small fast-food restaurant I listen to the tales of their glorious HS days. They are my age and are graduating HS this summer. They have known each other for years and have great stories to share.

H: "You wanna go? – he leans into me, almost whispers after nearly two hours there

J: Yeah. We should get back - I nod and smile, he mirrors my smile

We start to get up and put on our jackets which hung behind our chairs

H: Guys, we're gonna go

T: Where you going? – he smiles, teasing him

H: Just going – Hero takes out his wallet and throws money on the table

I see what he is doing and look at him, feeling stupid

J: I only got my card - I say apologetic

H: - chuckles sweetly – Don't worry about it, I got you

J: I'll pay you back

H: No, you wount – he says with finality which makes me smile

F: So where are you off to? – he asks like an inspector. I sense the boys are teasing him, cause they are looking between themselves, smiling smugly

J: I dont think that's any of your business – I smile wide, and Hero laughs beside me

They all start to laugh and banter,

Theo goes "Uuuuu" at the same time as Freddie says "Ice, ice cold" and they high five over the table

J: Bye guys - I say as we are stepping away from the table and all still smiling

All: Bye Josephine

T: Don't stay out too late Tiffin – he shouts

Hero turns back and flips him

They laugh, as do I when he turns back around and opens the door, holding it over my head as I duck under and step out into the cold again. 

He is so tall. And tender.

I can't help but smile as I keep replaying how attentive he was at the cafe. How he listened intently when I spoke, and the way he laughed at my jokes, as did his friends which made him look at me a little longer than necessarly and I caught him staring on more than one occasion, when I noticed and looked back, he just smiled gently, all the warmth from his eyes pouring into mine. As we are walking back to the apartment in silence I wonder where his parents are. He was from Lambeth he said earlier, but from his friends tonight I learned he attended a HS with them in Paddington. When I said I thought you were from Lambeth, he shrugged saying that he was, but moved to Paddington when attending HS. He is also a year older than the others, which means he missed a year in school. Doing what? 

And I still don't fully understand why he is now crashing in Brandon and Chloes guest room? The conversation with Brandon this morning answered some of my questions but, tonight has again raised new ones. I don't know why I am so interested either.