falling

This Love

In Oslo my russe-time continues as does our virtual relationship. I feel we grew closer in those morning hours in London. I told him secrets I have never told anyone. I am still surprised that I exposed myself like that to him, as if was the most natural thing to do. But he has that effect on me, to open up, to be vulnerable, to let myself feel. 

Hero is so refreshing. His whole being, personality, stance and way of thinking, even approaching things is new and exciting to watch. He is a stable ground. There are no surprises or hurt or decite. Its all very clean and clear. It's a clean slate. And we are equals. He is someone I can rely and lean on and that's such a beautiful thing, but even more he is a secure and safe place. Its more and more appealing as the days go because I see that he isn't fading. He is constant. The stability and love he gives is constant. I feel myself falling harder by the minute. It leaves a lovely and scary taste in my mouth. At times it scares me so much, I almost have panic attacks because I don't know how to handle it. The rush of good feelings and happiness is all consuming. Too good to be real. 

We talk daily, often more times than one. Its phone calls, Facetime, snap and texts. The only aspect we are missing is the physical presence, otherwise I feel we are completely in tuned to each other's lives.

The bump in our road is that he lives in London, and on the verge of a worldwide basketball career and I am here. 

Now and then I wonder why we torture ourselves with this, with the long distance. We are so young is it really worth it? The answer is yes apparently. We find something in each other that we haven't in others even if they are beside us. And that something is worth suffering and hurting a little long distance for.

H: I think its a little unfair. The whole ordeal. I finally get to be with you, really be with you and then you deprive me of you

I laugh on the other end. I am on my way to class and he called to wish me luck on todays test. 

J: That really was bad timing

H: The worst. But, do you have any possibility of coming to London soon?

J: I am so freaking low on cash, but 

H: Ah if I had a penny to spare I would buy you ticket

J: I know - I am sad for us, and our sad little long distance love story. It gives me an idea though. 

We say our goodbyes and hang up as I am going into school. I text Charlotte before walking into my classroom. She is probably on the bus as she doesn't have first class.

J: Can we sell our DK tix here, and buy new for the London show? 

C: What? Go to London? When?

J: Please, please, pretty please. 

C: Just so you can get laid?

J: YES!

C: Haha. <3 :D

C: Fine by me. I can see with Heddas cousin if she still needs tix.

J: Great. I'll buy us new ones for London. Its next wknd btw.

C: We'll miss the Sweden party?

J: I dont care

C: Of course not what's a party to sex

J: With Hero :D

C: Right. Hedda wants the tix. 800kr? 

J: Great. It'll cover the London tix. I'll buy us plane tickets after the test.

C: I am on the bus. I can do it.

J: Sure. The concert is on Friday night. Fly back Sunday night?

C: I'll see what I can find.

J: :*

C: :*

We arrive on Friday and take the metro straight to the concert venue. We meet up with Dela and her girlfriends, as I learned from Hero that she too was going so I texted her upon arriving and we agreed to meet up. The concert is great, as is Dermot Kennedy and his songs. We have been waiting for this concert for a year so every second is enjoyed fully.

Hero waits for us outside the concert venue when we come out. He is all handsome in a collage fleece jacket, dark blue jeans and a beanie making him look adorable and hipster like, without the mustache. A huge grin is spread across his face when seeing us, that I am returning. We rush towards each other and hug tightly, he lifts me up while we part just to kiss and laugh nervously, and hug again.

After the long, and much needed hug we part to Charlotte standing beside us, smiling. He smiles as well, embarrassed but, mostly happy I think.

J: Charlotte meet Hero, Hero bestie Charlotte - I point with both hands in the right directions

They shake hands and smile

C: Gosh! You're tall!

He laughs

C: I mean I've seen pictures and the height difference to shorty here and I know you're a basketball player but, still seeing you in person... is yeah... darn you're tall

He chuckles and smiles widely

H: I dont know what to say to that... good observation

We laugh as she pushes his shoulder in a friendly way. I knew they would get along, and thats so important to me. On our way back to the apartment we talk about the concert, our plane ride over, school, basketball and russetid. 

We arrive to the apartment to smell of pizza. Brandon and Chloe are waiting for us with Brandons homemade pizza. We eat, socialize, laugh and share daily lives updates. Hero and I go to bed first, mostly just wanting to be alone. We talk, laugh, fool around and sleep together which is even better than the first time. The missing each other mixed with lust and love makes for good sex. It helps that he is very good at what he does, and I think he likes the way I do things as well. :)

The weekend flies by. On Saturday we had lunch at Leadenhall Market with Heros friends. That was followed by a mini shopping spree for Charlotte and me. In the evening hours we watched Heros team play and beat a tough opponent. We were invited to Theos house for poker/UNO afterwords. Hero was tired, as always after game night, and wanted to go home and chill with me. Charlotte went with his friends. The two of us went home. We watched reruns of Modern Family, had a little fun and fell asleep in each others arms. On Sunday we have a long morning in bed as Charlotte stayed over at Freddies. I tell him about applying to school in London in the fall. He is extatic about it. Now he almost hopes no scout see him and offer him to go abroad. I think thats adorable. But, of course you have to go if someone approaches you and we'll deal with long distance like we have until now. We are alone in the apartment  which is nice, we don't have to keep our voices and noises down for a change while loving each other. After a few hours of being lazy and effective in bed we go out for lunch. I suggest he comes to visit me in Oslo. It's hard to get away from school on weekdays and weekends he always has game(s). We land on easter break maybe. We are going up to Charlottes cabin to ski, and I would like for him to come along. We can spend a few days there, and the rest in Oslo. Chloe, Brandon and Charlotte join us later and Brandon drives us to the airport.