I'd Like to be Somebody Else

Chapter 36

   Oasis went to tour in America. The first gig was on the 28th in Seattle.

   I head Noel call Mr McGee, a few minutes later I was appointed Noel's personal assistant and stylist, it couldn't be much more of a bullshit title. He didn't need a PA and he always said his only stylist was his mum and she got the sack when he was eleven. I felt a bit guilty being paid without really having to do anything.

   Kenzie brought Thora along despite the fact that Kenzie was about seven months pregnant, she was huge already.

   They had dates in Vancouver (Canada) and Oregon before three nights in California, San Francisco, Hollywood and San Diego.

   Liam insisted I go shopping with him when we were in Hollywood, they'd done the gig and we were meant to be getting ready to leave for San Diego. We'd traveled so much already, I didn't know how he had the energy to walk around.

"How can people want to wear all this grunge shit?" he complained as we walked around a shop full of grunge style clothing.

"They're following their heros, duh. It's just the same as you and those glasses. You like the jeans and trainers over here."

"But the glasses are cool, don't dis' them, I know you friggin' love them and the stuff's fucking cheaper."

   I thought back to when he bought them. His Lennon-esque look had come so close to winning me over, right under Noel's nose. "I'm just saying you like the Beatles, you've used their style, they like grunge so they wear grunge clothing."

"You're not the only one who likes my style, y'know."

"Go on." He clearly had something he couldn't wait to reveal.

"I've never done a pregnant bird before."

"What?" I wasn't expecting that, I couldn't remember seeing any pregnant girls at the gigs.

"Kenzie, when we got here yesterday."

"Please tell me you're bullshiting." I shook my head refusing to believe this one.

"Straight up, cross me heart and hope to die." he literally crossed his heart with his finger.

"Why? How? Why would you do that?" I asked, lost for words. "She's hugely pregnant."

"I don't know, for the experience. Think she thinks it'll bloody save Tony." he shrugged as he found a rail of blue Levi jeans he liked. "Was definitely different."

   I cringed at the idea. "What d'you mean "save Tony"? Why does Tony need saving?" I questioned to get the thought out my head.

"She heard me and Noel talking, we don't think he's going to be good enough for the next album. He's fucking holding us back."

"So you're claiming you fucked her to keep Tony in the band?"

   He measured a pair of jeans against himself. "No, I fucked her cos I wanted to. I never promised to keep Tony, I wouldn't lie to her like that."

"How good of you? Why don't you have some respect for yourself? Any way you put it, you got a heavily pregnant woman to cheat on your mate."

"Nah, nah, she came on to me. It's not like Tony would give her up if he knew. Everyone thought Thora was mine and he did nothing."

"Which is why I'm struggling to believe you now. The boy who cried wolf and all that."

"It's 100% the truth. I shagged Kenzie yesterday, like I might have if you hadn't interrupted in Newcastle. You're my best friend, you have to act like it and believe me." He said, using my own words against me.