I'd Like to be Somebody Else

Chapter 46

We met Pulp before their set that evening.

"You lot getting nervous yet?" Noel asked.

"No but we've got a few hours yet, like." Jarvis, Pulp's lead singer answered.

He didn't look like the nerves hadn't kicked in but he seemed the shy, quiet type in person. His whole appearance made him look like a geek. Big glasses and a suit.

"Well good luck man, we'll all be watching." Noel encouraged.

"Thanks, happy to have your support." Jarvis smiled politely.

"Yeah. Me and Liam are off for a bit but the girls are staying, aren't you?" Noel announced.

Us girls agreed and they left. I assumed they were going in search of drugs, that or they just weren't that interested in talking to Pulp.

"So like, what's on your setlist tonight?" I asked to break the awkward silence we'd been left with.

"Not telling." Jarvis smiled. "Are you from round our way? Sheffield?"

"I am." I nodded, I wasn't going to correct that I was from a town no one ever recognises. "I've not lost my Sheffield-ness, then?"

"Nope. So what are you doing with a load of Mancs if you're a Sheffielder?"

"Long story, mate." I sighed. "I met the lads in '91 and I just sort of stayed with them all this time. I met the girls yesterday but I can see us being friends for a long time as well." I explained quickly not wanting to go any further into our lives.

I heard Jenny pipe up. "Why did the Stone Roses pull out?"

They'd been chatting to the other members of the band but I hadn't been listening, too interested in the lead singer as usual.

"We were just told they weren't coming and asked can you be here for this evening, weren't we?" Nick, the drummer said.

"Told them we'd have think about it, didn't we?" Russell, the guitarist said with a cheeky smirk.

"Good thing you did come or we'd have to chat to some other band." Jenny continued to flirt with them.

...

"Have you been on stage much before?" Jarvis asked.

The two of us had gone to check on the stage about an hour before they had to perform. The brothers were still elsewhere and the lasses were preoccupied with the rest of the band.

"I haven't, I always just stay backstage or with the normal people, keeping out of everyone's way."

He suddenly took my hand and ran on stage so we were stood right at the centre front, ignoring the technicians working around us.

"This is what it's about." he raised our arms in the air, still holding my hand as we stared out at the empty field.

It was daunting to me to stand and see how big the field is, how many people could be stood right in front of us. I felt the adrenaline and nerves of standing somewhere so high and important.

"I prefer to be down there, if I'm honest with you." I confessed. "I can see why musicians are so hooked on touring though."

"You have to forget everything you are out there." He pointed backstage. "Take a deep breath and be, well a star."

...

We were hiding behind the stage curtain, like teenagers, just me and him. We kissed. I was full of adrenaline. I didn't care, I didn't think. I was lost in the heat of the moment.

He lifted my top. Our passion came crashing down in that moment. "You're pregnant." he observed, shocked. He took a step back.

"Jarvis! Please don't run." I grabbed his arm.

"What kind of person does this when they're already carrying?" he commented to himself. "Who's is it?"

"Noel's, please don't tell him or anyone we kissed and you can't tell anyone I'm pregnant." I begged, still holding on to his arm.

"I'm not going to tell someone like Noel Gallagher that I've tried to get with his lass, they'd beat the living shit out of me." He pulled his hand away and ran it through his fringe. "Why can't I say about the baby?"

"Cos we're not telling anyone yet. I'm sorry I've messed up..."

"I thought you were just their mate." he interrupted. "I wouldn't have done anything if I knew you were with him. Why did you...?"

I didn't know how to explain but I gathered my words quickly, interrupting him. "Because I'm pregnant, everyone thinks I'm suddenly fragile, especially Noel... I needed to feel free again."

"Well, don't involve me in your chaos. You're having his child, you can't behave like this anymore regardless of how you're feeling." he walked off.

...

He avoided me for the rest of the festival. I didn't care because we spent a lot of the third day with Richard Ashcroft and his band the Verve.

"Mate!" Noel and Richard greeted each other with a quick, chest bump hug.

Liam greeted him with a much more manly high five/ handshake.

"D'you remember our Stacy?" Noel asked.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah I do." He nodded. "How you doing?"

I realised I hadn't seen him since we kissed back in December '93, I wondered if he remembered it. "I'm fine, thanks."

He produced a package of white powder I'd become so familiar with because of the Gallaghers. "You still doing lines?"

"I went and knocked her up." Noel told him, putting his arm around me, bringing me into a hug. "So she can't."

"Noel!" I nudged him but he ignored it.

Richard put his hand on my bump and congratulated us. Having people touch my belly without even asking me first was taking some getting used to.

"How long have you two been together now?"

Noel shrugged and took the packet. If I kept up with anniversaries I'd be upset, I knew we'd been together a year now but only because we were back in Glastonbury. Neither of us cared.

Richard, Noel and Liam did lines. I walked off to talk to the other band members and the girls. I missed being able to get high already.