I'd Like to be Somebody Else

Chapter 64

Noel stood watching me sat on his old bed rocking our son in the nursery. "When they asked if you wanted a homebirth I din't think they meant Liam's home. Your hospital bag's there, that was a waste of time." He pointed to the bag I'd packed months ago.

It sounded like he had something to say but he didn't know how to say it.

"I should've carried it around."

"Or gone to hospital... Shall we ring your Mam and Dad, let them know?" he suggested.

"No, I don't want them." I told him sharply.

"You are a mind fuck Stacy." he commented. "A bit ago he wasn't coming out until your Mam was with you."

"Tell them but tell them they can't visit. The Snow." I decided. "If they come, they'll take him." I added quietly.

He sat next to me. "Are you alright Stacy, like really alright?" he asked, concerned.

"Yeah, course I am, we have our son, he's beautiful, we're happy. I'm more than alright." I smiled.

"Just, er, you asked for Luke, who's y'know... a couple of times and now you don't want your parents to see him." he spoke carefully.

"I know Luke's dead. Sorry if I scared you. I've been waking up convinced I was carrying his, just for a split second. I didn't say because I didn't want you to worry. I know Jimmyi is yours and I'm with you." I explained.

"It's getting late. You've got to be knackered. Let me have have him for a bit, get some rest." he instructed, apparently happy with that explanation.

"I'm fine." I insisted.

I wanted to keep hold of my baby son forever, I didn't care how tired I was or how tired I'd get. I needed him as much as he needed me.

"Honestly, how long have you been awake?" he asked to prove his point. "And you should be in hospital being taken care of. I love you for being stubborn but let me take care of you two."

"What if he gets hungry?"

"You just fed him, didn't you? If he needs you I'll bring him back to you." He sounded like he could handle it.

I nodded, handed him over and reluctantly went to bed. Now he was with Noel I could admit to myself I was exhausted. I fell asleep still wearing Liam's clothes.

...

When Bonehead visited the next day, carrying Lucy. I wasn't prepared to see anyone, even if it was just him. I felt like shit like I'd only just registered the pain and everything from yesterday.

He presented us with a gift for the baby. I unwrapped a red Manchester United baby grow and we both stared at him like he'd gone mad.

"It's best of both worlds, in't it? Red for LFC, Manchester for City." he sniggered, it was the kind of thing someone who knew absolutely nothing about football might suggest.

The mentioning of Liverpool made me realise Jamie didn't know his Godchild was born yet unless my parents had told him.

"Thanks but no thanks. I can't let my lad wear that badge." I said trying to be polite, not exactly realising the joke.

"I'm kidding with you, no Kate's bringing the proper present." he revealed, stuffing the baby grow in his pocket. "This is our Lucy's."

"You're hilarious, Bonehead." Noel said shaking his head at him.

"I know. What's his name then?" he asked with a grin.

"Stephen Jimmyi Gallagher." Noel told him. "We're just going to call him Jimmyi though."