I'd Like to be Somebody Else

Chapter 52

We were signed up to antenatal classes in Manchester. Actually Noel set it up with a private practice so the classes wouldn't have more than two other women, preferably not Oasis fans. I wasn't looking forward to the class or meeting these people, especially without Noel.

The two couples in the class were in their thirties and married. One couple were called Bradley and Claire. The other were Christopher and Brenna. They were both many weeks ahead of me in their pregnancies. They were far more interested in me than I was in them.

They asked loads of questions, mostly along the lines of is it my first child? I asked them the same questions to be polite.

When I told them who the father was, they didn't really believe me and they'd only heard of him from the times Oasis had made the headlines for causing trouble. Apparently they prefered jazz and blues.

I wished I could join another class because I had nothing in common with them and I was sure they'd assumed I was a fantasist who was lying because the actual father was a randomer.

The midwife assigned to our class was about my age and very friendly, she claimed her job didn't give her time to listen to music.

I couldn't help but think I could be in another room of the hospital having an abortion. I could have been back on tour and back high on everything like I'd gotten so used to doing. I almost wished for chance encounters with celebrities like Jarvis Cocker. I realised getting pregnant wasn't the positive change I was looking for.

...

As I walked through town (window shopping for things I could buy for the baby, hoping it would shift the bad mood the class had put me in the previous day) I was greeted by someone I'd gladly not seen in years.

"You're that lass." he said, I didn't think he knew my name but he was trying to think of it. "It's me, Tommy. Remember me?" he spoke like we were old friends.

I recognised his intimidating presence and the smell of alcohol much more than his name. "Yeah, I remember. Hi." I replied awkwardly.

All I could remember was his face as he pinned his son against the kitchen wall, how scared I was to watch helplessly.

"Are you carrying my lad's kid?" he asked.

I didn't know what to say. Noel didn't want anything to do with him, that included not letting him know about this. I couldn't lie and add fuel to the paternity fire. "Yeah, it's Noel's."

"Didn't think he had it in him." he tried to joke.

I looked at my watch and made an excuse about my parking ticket running out and hurried away from him.

...

"Hey! How's STD today?" Liam asked as soon as I answered the phone.

They were in Dublin, the last gig before they were home again. I couldn't wait to have them back here with me even though it was only a week since I was with them in Scotland.

"Where's Noel?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"Fucking some bird."

I rolled my eyes and said nothing.

"Listen." he said before making high pitched sex noises, saying "Noel! Noel!" pretending to be Noel's conquest.

"Give over." I told him, not at all impressed. "There's flying pigs more believable than you."

"Some have helicopter units."

"Clever!" I said sarcastically. "Seriously, where's Noel? I want to talk to him."