I'd Like to be Somebody Else

Chapter 69

We had just about the whole of february together in Supernova Heights. Surrounded by the London nightlife, the lads didn't stay in much and made sure to keep the night going when they did get back to the house. Blaring music, drink, drugs and celebrities around at all hours became a standard.

It was like we didn't have a two month old son. I hardly saw Noel except for when he was crashed out in bed.

Soon me and Liam had gotten into a massive argument over Emily. He was angry at me and I was angry at him. It was completely out of character for us.

"What the fuck do you want?" he asked aggressively as he drank beer like it was pop.

Anything goes at Supernova Heights, including constant alcoholism.

"Why are you still pissed off at me?" I asked, determined to get to the truth. "You said you were over her, so get over her."

"I'm not." he responded bluntly. "You've got moods on with me cos I kept something from you, for fucking ages and you can't drink or nothing when we can."

"Why were you hiding it? Why weren't you parading her in front of me if you were seeing her to wind me up?" I asked loudly.

"I don't have to tell you anything. You're not my missus."

"State the obvious, why don't you?" I commented. "I just want to know why you and she would lie to me for months when you claim you went out with her to get back at me."

"I fucking liked her, that's why... I didn't tell you because I knew you'd fuck it up the first chance you got."

"No I wouldn't." I protested.

"Well you did... She's yesterday's news anyway." he shrugged nonchalantly. "I've met someone else."

"Who?"

He'd met a lot of someone elses, there was always hot women around, especially at Supernova Heights' parties. I had to know who the hell this one was.

"I'm not telling you shit all, we're not together, you made sure we never will be so butt the fuck out." he said forcefully.

"I was just asking. We're meant to be friends. Friends tell each other stuff."

"You're fucking jealous. I can't believe it, Yorkie's jealous." he accused.

I couldn't decide whether I hated my nickname more when it was used as an alter ego like Jekyll and Hyde or not.

"Yorkie doesn't get jealous. I've got Noel, I don't want you, there's no reason for me to get jealous, Love."

"Then why d'you care?"

"I don't want you with another one who's just using you. I don't ever want to see you get hurt." I told him. "You deserve someone who loves you, not your band."

"Never want to see me hurt? You've dumped me several times, rubbed the fact that you're with my brother in my fucking face and shitted on my relationship. I don't know what more you could do to hurt me." he chugged down his beer and crushed the can.

"I'm sorry, Liam." I said as sincerely as I could.

"You're not though, stop shitting things up and you won't have to keep apologising."

"Maybe I wouldn't mess stuff up if you stopped dealing with things by drinking, by becoming your Dad." I instantly regretted making the comparison.

I didn't even know enough about the man, I just knew it would hurt him, that he'd prove he's mad at me.

"You know fuck all about me if you think I'm anything like him." he walked away, slamming the door on his way out.

I went after him to apologise, to stopping him hating me but he'd vanished. I went through the entire house trying to find him but he was just gone.

"What you lost?" Guigsy asked.

He was sat eating lunch, reading a newspaper at the dinner table.

"Liam." I sighed. "Have you seen him?"

"Walked out the house in a hurry a minute ago, why?"

I sat next to him, resting my chin on my hand. "Called him his Dad."

"Why the hell...?" he shook his head.

"He's drinking all the time just cos he can and he won't accept I didn't mean to break him and Emily up." I groaned.

"We've been drinking all the time since before we met you, that's not new. What did you do exactly, Stacy?"

I explained the fight me and Emily had, the full truth of it.

"Even having Noel's baby bump didn't stop you two." He was so disappointed in us. "You deserve both of them to be pissed off with you."

"I didn't go over there to sleep with him. I didn't want to." I objected, I couldn't take him judging me, his disappointment.

"What you saying, he raped you?" he asked, he didn't believe that for a second.

"No! No, of course he didn't." I wasn't accusing him. "I meant I didn't go over for it and it wasn't my idea. Then since we agreed never again, it's like we hate each other."

"He doesn't hate you. It's just your mind taking the wrong road again." he dismissed. "He made Christmas the way you wanted it and then played midwife, delivering your baby, if that's him being off with you then he's odder than I thought."

"Noel told me he's been trashing hotel rooms and he's been mardy with me loads."

"I'm telling you, it's all in your mind. That's just Liam." he insisted. "Just take back what you said today and he'll be alright."

"Where's everyone else?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Noel and Bonehead took Jimmyi shopping, you do know where your own baby is, right?" His judgemental tone was back. "Alan's round his house."

"I know he's with Noel." I just couldn't remember where or what they were doing. "Go on why don't you just say it out loud? I'm a bad mother and a slut."

"Calm, Yorkie. You're not. You just make terrible decisions sometimes." he reasoned.

...

On the 14th I found a card on the kitchen table with "Yorkie" written on the envelope. I couldn't decide whose handwriting it was. I looked at it over and over again as I made breakfast. It didn't particularly look like anyone's like they'd purposely disguised it.

Inside was a standard valentines card. I still couldn't place the writing inside, it just said "Love you Yorkie."

I put the card back in the envelope and put it back where I'd found it so it looked like I hadn't seen it. I was sure it wasn't Noel's so I wasn't interested.

"Who's sending you cards?" Noel asked as he passed me the card as we stood watching Jimmyi sleep in his cot..

"You?" I opened it trying to look like it was the first time I'd seen it. "Didn't know you did Valentine's Day."

"If there's something that don't need a card it's love." he insisted as I showed him the message inside. "Not my writing."

"Whose is it then?" I asked innocently. "Cos I don't know."

He shrugged. "No idea."

"Five people in the world call me Yorkie, four of them have no reason and just wouldn't send a card so just admit it's you." I told him.

"It ain't mine." He was adamant. "Valentine's is a load of crap."

Author Note- It's John Lennon's 75th birthday today (or it was when I decided to post a chapter for his birthday, meh it's still before midnight elsewhere in the world.) Since he was such a big influence, especially on Liam, I thought he deserved a chapter.

I'm not posting again until my university assignment is done.