I'd Like to be Somebody Else

Chapter 8

I didn't go and watch them play, instead I reluctantly called my mum, I'd missed quite a few calls from her again. Not purposely although she was beginning to think I was just ignoring her.

"I'm just letting you know the funeral has been arranged. You really should have been involved." she told me.

"When is it?"

"It's on Monday." Shit.

"Okay mum, I'll be home first thing."

"Are you sure you don't want to come home now?" she asked. "I don't want to lie to Luke's family."

"Lie about what?"

"You've moved into a strange man's home on the day Luke died. Doesn't that sound odd to you?"

"Noel and Liam aren't strange, they're hard working lads." Some might argue otherwise but I couldn't think how else to reassuringly describe them.

"What do they do exactly?"

If I told her construction she'd compare them to Billy's dad, if I told her about the Rain/ Oasis she'd tell me to tell them to grow up and stop dreaming, if I told her they were on the dole she'd order me back home.

"I haven't asked, I just know they get up at six and don't get back until at least five." I shrugged forgetting I was on the phone.

"Oh okay, just don't let them take advantage of you. Just because you're living with them it doesn't mean you owe them anything." she warned.

"Mum! No one took advantage of me and I'm not going to let anyone either. They are my friends, nothing more." I said losing my temper. I ended the call as soon as I'd done speaking.

...

I sat and channel flicked, they didn't have satellite so there was only four channels to go between. I feeling so lonely, I wished I hadn't rang her, I wished I'd gone to the gig but I mostly wished I could go home to my boyfriend. I certainly wasn't ready to bury him.

I ended up turning off the telly and going upstairs. I found the photos I brought with me, most of them were of me and Luke. I started crying, knowing we could never have those good times again. Once I started I couldn't stop. I didn't deserve to be friends with anyone new, I should have been home, mourning like a victorian.

When they got back I'd stopped crying and gone back to watch TV but my face had all the telltale signs that I had been for some time.

"Sup?" Noel asked as he flopped on the settee, next to me, almost on my knee.

Liam announced he was going to bed and ran up the stairs, he was never going to be one to deal with emotions.

"Nothing, it's just the funeral on monday." I sniffed.

"Oh, d'you want us to come with you? Don't think I've got owt to do."

"No, no, you can't." that was a terrible idea but I'm pretty sure he was drunk. "How was the gig?"

"Good, you just wait til we're selling out Wembley. I can feel it, y'know. Wish it would fucking hurry up though."

"You only just joined. Think how "the Rain" feel."

"I know but I want to get back out on tour, live some more, not wait on my shitty Dad." he sighed.

He already knew what it was like to live on tour with a band even if he was just in the background setting up.

"I'm still going to be your roadie, aren't I?" I remembered his offer.

"Course." his lips crashed into mine. I missed the feeling, I didn't want it to end but not with him, not with Noel.