I'd Like to be Somebody Else

Chapter 85

Noel never rang back, he never bothered to try. None of the band tried to contact me either, I assume on his instruction. He was avoiding me so they had to avoid me too.

He just left me waiting for him to come home. I wanted to delude myself into thinking everything was still okay but I was so angry. I exploded when he finally showed up, in fact I was passed exploding.

"Hey, I'm back." he shouted when he walked through the front door, like nothing had happened. "Where are you two?"

"Are you still married?" I confronted him, seeing the gold band on his finger.

"I'll propose to you right now, completely sober, show you I've been a right idiot." He got down on one knee and presented me with his ring. "Took it too far with the drugs din't I?"

He didn't answer my question and he didn't even actually propose.

"Get up, I don't want your stupid ring and I don't want to marry you. I NEVER wanted to marry you." I shook my head. "How did you got back into the country? You're clearly still off your head."

"Come on Stacy, you would think it was fecking hilarious if it was anyone else but me." He stood back up and forced a laugh again.

"You once promised me that if you ever had a kid you'd stop using and be there for them." I reminded him. "That hasn't fucking happened, has it?"

"No but I will, soon, I promise."

I'd had enough of that promise. Nothing was ever going to make him give up cocaine, not me and not his son.

"Go tell your wife, lie to her as much as you like." I said, realising what I had to do, I'd known for a while but I hadn't committed until now. "I never belonged in your world and I'm done with it."

"What?" He stared at me in shock. "You're leaving me, because of an idiotic mistake? I didn't even have an affair or do anything fucking wrong."

"If you don't think marrying another woman is wrong then you are an utter retard." I commented.

I had to stop arguing, I was just wasting our time but I didn't want to go. As long as we were stood fighting, we were still together, a family.

"Don't call me a retard. I've never, ever fucking cheated on you! You can't fucking say the same, can you? Who's Jimmyi's real Dad?" he questioned.

"You are! I didn't do anything while we were trying for Jimmyi!"

He knew that. He knew not to listen to the rumour mill but still it was something we could fight about.

"Yeah? You must not be counting threesomes. Me and The Scouse ring any bells?" he suggested.

He had never, ever mentioned that night before. He knew full well I was already pregnant then but he had to throw up something.

"I fucking got pregnant because you were reckless after winning the fucking match." I couldn't make it any clearer for him. "We were already pregnant when you played sheffield."

"Doesn't change the fact that you're denying it, conveniently forgot that night again, have you?"

It was a fucking threesome, he'd agreed to it just as much as I did and yet he was still attempting to use it as ammunition. I wasn't going to apologise for it.

My mind was saying over and over again to tell him about Liam to the point that I wasn't sure if it had only stayed in my mind or not. I needed him to be as angry as I was. If he wanted the fight I had PLENTY to ruin us myself.

"I haven't been the best girlfriend and I'm sorry I cheated on you and everyone else since Luke." I knew neither of us were listening and we'd happily argue all night so I essentially gave up.