I'd Like to be Somebody Else

Chapter 67

Jamie came over to visit his Godson a few days later. I knew he'd wait until Oasis were gone again, they still didn't exactly see eye to eye.

As soon as he'd walked through the door I gave him a hug. I'd missed him and I'd missed having company. I went and got Jimmyi from his cot, I managed to get him and carry him downstairs without waking him.

"If he starts roaring, you're having him straight back." he laughed as I placed Jimmyi in his arms. "Y'know what you're right he is Noel."

He held him gently, just watching him sleep.

"Wait 'til you see his eyes."

He stroked Jimmyi's cheek with his knuckle and I gave him a bit of a don't wake my baby look. "Can't say I've taken much notice of his eyes."

I had difficulty accepting he was telling the truth on that one. How could anyone not notice the Gallagher eyes?

...

"You're still on their tour crew, right?" Jamie asked like he didn't want to ask because he knew he shouldn't.

"I'm still Noel's PA, yeah. Why?"

I hoped I'd be back on the "tour crew" soon enough. It didn't feel right to be so far away from the band for so long and I just missed touring.

"Can you get tickets?" He knew I could and did whenever I wanted but I had a feeling he wasn't wanting to go to just any gig.

I should have known he wasn't here just to see a baby.

"Probably, depends what gig..."

"Knebworth... I have to be there Stacy." He made it sound like the most important thing in the world, I didn't think he was actually that much of a fan.

I stared at him. They were going on sale next week, him and everyone else in the country believed they had to be there. "The papers are predicting one in every thirty are going to apply. I really don't think this is a gig where I can just get tickets."

"I heard it'll be one in twenty five... I've never asked before and you know I'll pay up." he pointed out. "Please try."

He had always gotten tickets himself and he'd need the luck of a Saint for this one, even with relying on me.

"Okay, I'll ask... how many?" I asked reluctantly.

"Two." he answered quietly, I was sure he wouldn't be too disappointed if I only managed to get him one.

I didn't ask but I assumed the other was for Aislin. He hardly ever talked about her but as far as I knew they were still together.

He spent the rest of the day with us. He kept saying regretted that he took him weeks to get over to Manchester to meet his Godchild, even when I got him to change a dirty nappy or two.

...

I got a phone call on the 18th. Oasis were due to be on their way back to England, for a gig in Tyne & Wear and then two in Edinburgh. I always got worried, a lot, when the phone rang and I knew they were traveling. I picked it up praying it was nothing to do with them.

"Yorkshire Terrier."

"Cockley Cunt?" I answered trying to work out what Alan had phoned me. "What's up?"

I'd had calls from Noel (he would tell me the tour was going well and I'd tell him I was doing fine) but no one else. Alan never called me.

"I'd rather you call me Alan right now." He set me straight.

I'd rather everyone just called me Stacy but it was never going to happen plus he started with the nicknames, not me. "Alan, what's the matter?"

"I need to know if what Liam's told me is true." he said so bluntly yet so vaguely.

"What's he said?" I asked. "The moon isn't made of cheese and he really isn't John Lennon's incarnation." I tried to joke.

"I'm serious Stacy, I need to know about you and him." he said, not in the mood for jokes.

"What did he tell you?" I asked, I wasn't prepared to tell him myself but if he already knew, I wasn't going to lie.

"He told me him and Emily split cos there's still something going on between you two."

"You're going to have to be a lot more specific than that, Alan." I encouraged, I needed him to say what he had to say..

"He insisted you have sex because you're both still in love."

I sighed, knowing he really did know some form of the truth, wishing Liam would keep his mouth shut. "Tell me there's no way Noel or the others can hear this."

"I'm home alone. They've gone to a bar, they think I'd forgotten my wallet so I haven't got long." he explained. "Do you love Liam?"

"Course I do, I love you all." I answered, dodging the actual answer.

"I know you love me, Guigsy and Bone' but are you IN love with Liam?" he asked impatiently.

"Yes, okay? Yes I am." I confessed. "I've been IN love with both of them as equally as is possible, all this time."

"Why are you Noel's girlfriend?" he asked, taken aback by my admittance.

"Because I love him and I want to be with him."

"What about Liam?" he asked, relentlessly.

"I'm not cheating, it's not an affair. He's my best friend and sometimes, sometimes things happen that shouldn't." I tried to explain. "Y'know you've got to live with knowing and can never, ever tell Noel, now?"

"What the fuck would I say?" he asked. "Y'know your brother (who you fight with at any given opportunity now) and your girlfriend, the mother of your child (who you don't exactly have a stable relationship with either)... well they "sometimes" fuck behind your back?" he suggested.

"Not anymore, I swear we are done, finished, dead and buried... I don't care what he said, we don't do it anymore and won't, ever again." I said adamantly.

"I don't think I can keep this secret." he sighed, battling with his conscience. "I can't be around Noel and keep quiet."

"Guigsy knows, he manages it." I told him, trying to make out that his big secret wasn't really much of a secret or a big deal.

He knew of at least one incident anyway.

"You been with him too?"

"No, not at all."

Guigsy, I'd never so much as kissed him, Bonehead, on the other hand, I had been with in a threesome I only remember flashes of.

"Liam's my best mate." he groaned. "How could you put me in this position?"

"You've been "best mates" about three seconds. You don't have a choice Alan." I told him forcefully. "If you tell Noel, Jimmyi loses his Dad, Noel and Liam lose a brother, you lose your job."

That was the nice scenario where Noel doesn't torture us to death and then seek revenge on anyone who were covering it it. There was no positive result of him ever finding out we'd even kissed while I was with him.

He didn't say anything, he just put the phone down. He was a good person. He didn't want to hurt any of us but he had to make the right choice for him. Our lives were in his hands and there was nothing I could do.

Author Note- I try to find out when Knebworth was announced/ when tickets went on sale etc, FB springs up a 2016 tour rumour, typical. I'm guessing it would have been way earlier than I wrote it but oh well.

Also wow I've given you a bit of a cliffhanger...