Outside my head

Chapter 7

Drew brought me into the art room, Mrs. Owens was asleep on her desk like normal and Drew walked off grabbing a small painting, It looked like a painting of Coy fish and they were beautiful.
"Oh wow...This is amazing did you make this?"
"Yeah I did, Lot's of people say that it makes them feel a little better and so I'm giving it to you." I froze, Not to sound depressed but I can't exactly remember the last time someone did anything—no TRIED anything like this for me. All because I was overthinking in a bathroom. "...Thank you so much, I don't even know what to say. Are you really sure about this it seems like it took a long time to make and it's really pretty."
"Nah it's cool, It's got no use in here" The bell had rung, and Drew patted me on the shoulder before walking out but by the time I had left the room he was already gone, Drew seemed like a nice guy I kinda wanna know more about him but I don't think I'll see him anymore today which kind of sucks I should've gotten his number or something...Oh, wait the school email!
—
Skipping Class is easy in this school, Luckily it's only first period so I can just say I was late. I sat down in the back of the school took out my school computer and logged in as I waited I noticed I had gotten a text from Simon, I kind of don't want to answer him...I don't know what he did with Emily. Why am questioning him? What is going on...Jackson stop.

Simon

Hey, Sorry for talking to Emily alone. You seemed upset when you left are you okay?

It's fine, I met someone and he gave me something that made me feel better. What happened while I was gone?

I just asked her what she knew about you, What guy and what did he give you?

That's not all, Don't change the subject.

Jack, C'mon do I have to tell you everything we talked about??? I want to know who you were seeing.

Why does it matter who I'm seeing, I don't ask you any questions when you talk to other people.

What is wrong with you today? You're so pissy.

I'm not

Please don't lie to me.

Simon, I'm busy, We can talk later bye.

—
I'm not being pissy. I'm annoyed by the fact you want me to tell you everything and you don't tell me shit. Does Simon truly even care about me? He avoids me a lot but now he suddenly wants to change that I just don't understand why, I can't tell if he's playing with me or not, I don't even know anymore...It's been like ever since we first started dating, I'd try and get close to him and he'd push me away so I wouldn't embarrass him...I'd sit in my room and cry for hours. It's like there are two sides to him, One that is my boyfriend and who loves me, and another that avoids me and stresses me out to the point I want to give up. I'm getting tired. Simon's great I mean he's nice and...A little funny sometimes but he's not making any sense to me anymore, He wants to be out but not out I don't understand. "Jackson..? Why are you crying..?"
"What...?" I looked to my side to see Natalie, She was carrying a bunch of books under one of her arms and her bag in another, I hadn't even noticed I was crying but Natalie kneeled softly cupping my face and I couldn't stop myself from crying. I hugged her so tightly, There's something wrong with me, but I don't know what it is. "It hurts. I can't understand him, Why won't he tell me anything......It's always me. Why do I always have to be the one that carries the relationship...? why can't I ignore him as he does to me...? Why...?" Why. That's what it is, the was the question that I've been wanting him to answer just why. Natalie didn't say a word. She just sat there and held me, I appreciate her Natalie and I don't talk much but even so, she's still here
for me right now, I don't think I could ask for a better friend. "Jack...It's going to be okay, Do you want to go home..? I..." Natalie trailed off, I could tell she wasn't used to this at all...I'm not even used to crying myself "Sorry Natalie...I'm okay, I think I'll sit in the office today."
"...Okay be safe, I love you." She smiled lightly kissing my head before leaving, I looked down and saw the painting Drew had given me. It's just two coy fish in some water but it's kind of calming. I like it, I do.

"So Jackson, Why are you just sitting here are you doing okay?"
"I'm okay Miss. Falton, just a bad day."
"Are you sure honey, You look like you've been crying a lot..."
"Yeah...Sorry, I can go home if y-"
"No, No Jackson I'm fine with you sitting here but at least tell me what's wrong with you I want to make sure you're seriously okay that's all."
"Oh. I just had a small fight with my boyfriend." I've been sitting here for four hours straight and it's honestly just been constant people coming in and leaving every five minutes, I thought the office was usually quiet since Miss. Felton tends to say she loves quiet places and her job. She was softly rubbing my back and I just stared at the clock waiting for the end of the day, I know Miss. Felton won't tell my parents about me staying here but I still feel bad for not telling my parents a lot recently. Maybe I should tell Simon I want a break, Just a break to focus on myself for once, a day without having to worry about Simon. A day without worry about what Emily is going to say. Just one day.