Outside my head

Chapter 9

"Alright, you don't want anything like my hair right, Like a Light color or do you want something like mine?" He turned away from the hair dye facing me but I just shrugged I've never done anything like this before. "Hm, I think a dark color would fit you then again it's your body so why don't you look at all the colors while I get some other things for this occasion?"
"Sure."
"You're so straight up"
"What did you want me to respond like??? "Sure thing babe~!" It was quiet for a second but after that second it was just straight laughter, I said that in such a bratty voice I can't really help but laugh at myself  "Holy Shit I was not expecting that from you at all people, Oh my god you're funnyyy" saying that Drew walked off and I covered my mouth until I stopped laughing, That felt good. To laugh at myself in a fun way, Maybe I could do that more often I mean it could give me a little more...Personality I guess? I began to look through the hair dyes and there were a lot of pretty colors it's just the fact I don't wanna stand out as much as Drew does and if I made cheerleading and had hot pink hair I'd definitely stick out minus the facts I'd be the only guy on the team. Drew suggested a darker color and I think you can redye your hair anytime you want so maybe I'll take him up on that offer but what color...Maybe I'll just go jet black? It shouldn't look too bad on me, right? Well, it can't hurt to try. It didn't take long before Drew had come back with some bleach and a weird-looking combe but I didn't bother to question it since I don't think Drew would hurt me "Ohh black, That'll look cute on you. Let's get going then!" Without a response, Drew grabbed my hand and we paid at the counter before leaving the store, He seems more excited about this than I am honestly but then again that can just be how he is for all I know I mean we hardly know each other at all.
—
"So what made you want to get into cheerleading all of the sudden, Not going to lie you don't even seem like you'd attempt a cartwheel..."
I flicked him off. "Excuse you, but I've done cheer since I was a kid I just stopped as I got older because it's embarrassing."
"Oh, I see...I want to see-" I laughed. We're just making small talk while we wait for my hair to dry, Apparently, you're supposed to let it dry and then wash it. But my mom had to go pick up my dad from work since his car broke down and so I can't exactly distract myself from awkward silence by talking to one of them, Though with Drew it's not awkward at all It's just so easy to talk and fool around with him, It feels real. Like a real friendship that I've been longing for decades. Drew had exited the bathroom before my phone lit up with a message from Simon and I felt my heart sink into my chest, I haven't gotten upset with Simon in a long time and I did it again today but I completely forgot...Am I a bad boyfriend now?

Simon

Hey Jackson, I'm really sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to make you upset it's just when I don't know who you're with especially with another guy I get a little aggravated.

It's okay, I should be the one apologizing. That wasn't like me at all and I apologize.

Though I'd appreciate it if we talked in person because there are other things I want to tell you. and I also might want you to meet someone.

Oh
Okay, Tomorrow okay? Or would you prefer today? I'm free at either time so it's up to you.

Tomorrow, 8 o'clock at my house.

Alright, I'll see you then.
—
I honestly can't believe I forgot Simon, He's usually the first thing that ever comes to my mind I guess Drew's been distracting me a little more than I thought he was. "Fuck-!" Speak of the devil.
"Did you just trip over the air?"
"No-! I got a blow dryer to help speed it up but the plug fell and I accidentally stepped on it, That hurttt" he groaned, Sitting on the edge of the tube somewhat trying to look at his foot honestly his fault for not wearing socks even though if I told him too "You're kind of clumsy Drew, By the way, do you mind if I ask you a little more personal question or is it too early for that type of thing?"
"Nope go ahead." That was almost an instant answer, I don't know if that's exactly good or bad.
"About your ex...Uhm can I get a little more details about him well you if you don't mind?" It was quiet for a second but then he began to actually put thought into it "His name was Conner, We were dating for a year and everything was fine I mean we were out at school and at home we would hide it because our parents were so into our relationship they would never leave us alone but it was kind of fun when we would sneak out the house just to kiss...But as time went on he started acting more flirty with girls around me and to the point we got into an argument about it. We took a month's break and when we got back he suggested an open relationship, I already told you this part but yeah he kept claiming he didn't have a boyfriend and only had a girlfriend, Her name was Lilly and I never really got along with her but around Conner, we'd pretend like we were happy since we both wanted him to be happy. Conner started avoiding me and spending all his time with Lilly which led to another argument with all three of us and that's when Conner suggested I just become a girl, that's when I broke it off. I was depressed for monthsss and my parents didn't even bother to mention him anymore but I still do miss him a little bit especially when we used to kiss...I haven't kissed anyone in so long that I've probably forgotten how." I wasn't even sure where to start, I would've never guessed Drew had gone through anything so horrible. He seems so happy all the time but looks don't tell everything, I just looked at the ground and Drew didn't say anything either I don't exactly regret asking but at the same time I kind of do "You could kiss me if you want..?"
"...What?" He stood up
I froze, Did I just tell Drew he could kiss me?!? I definitely wasn't thinking straight maybe I just felt bad for him since he probably had forgotten... "S-Sorry I didn't me-" I blinked to realize I was being kissed, By Drew. This doesn't feel wrong either, Is it wrong...? Am I cheating right now? I don't know. "...S-Sorry! I don't know what just came over me, Holy shit you have a boyfriend I am so sorry Jackson." Drew held his hands up quickly backing up into the wall but I just stared at him rubbing my bottom lip, Then I smiled "Well good news, You didn't forget how to kiss, and even better news my boyfriend doesn't have to know about this..." I stood up walking closer to Drew before landing another kiss on his lips, This is different from when I kiss Simon. This feels right, It feels real...Why have I never felt this way with Simon before? I didn't stop kissing Drew and He didn't stop kissing me either, He even held my waist as if we were in a romantic movie, I can't even lie Drew is an amazing kisser and I can't lie, I don't want to stop...What's wrong with me?