this is what it feels like // calum hood

29

Aly and Calum sat on the floor and ate, the TV still going. Calum could tell Aly wasn't fully paying attention, and she had only taken a few bites of the food.

"Hey," Calum leaned over, putting his arm around her shoulders, "Are you sure you're okay?" He kissed the side of her forehead.

"No," she looked over at him, "I'm just scared to tell you."

Their eyes met. Aly's insides turning warm and fuzzy being so close to him.

"You can tell me whatever, whenever you're ready," he softly smiled.

"God, you're way too nice to me," Aly put her hand on his cheek thumb running over his skin before leaning in, gently kissing him. She pulled away slowly, they're foreheads resting against one another. Aly kept her eyes closed reminiscing in the feeling.

Calum kissed her again, his own hands coming to her neck, pulling her close again. Aly was taken off guard at first but quickly fell into a rhythm with him. Her hands slipped from his face and down to the collar of his crewneck.

Next thing she knew her eyes were watering, a tear slipping away with out her control, her chest suddenly very tight.

Calum pulled away, "Hey, it's okay," he hummed, catching the tears with his thumbs.

"Sorry, I uhm don't know why," she lied, knowing exactly why, she quickly wiped away the tears, "I'll be right back," she forced herself off the floor and rushed down the hallway.

Aly locked herself in the bathroom, this uncontrolled reaction was from
her body adjusting to being on the proper medication again and trying to balance back out, she should of seen it coming.

She tried to do this "controlled breathing" technique she had learned years ago, to calm herself but she just started hyperventilating instead.

She pulled her phone from the pocket of her hoodie, calling the only person she could think of. She held the phone to her ear as it rang. She slid down the bathroom door, landing on the floor, knees bent up.

"Hey-"

"Walk me through the breathing thing," Aly cut her sister off, her whole body was warm and right, the tears wouldn't stop falling.

"Huh?"

Aly took a few short unsteady breaths, "The...the controlled whatever the fuck!" Her tone was now just annoyed.

"Okay, okay," it clicked in Sierra's head, "Inhale, slowly, through your nose, one...two...three...four...five, then exhale, slowly, one...two...three...four... five."

Aly tried to follow her sisters instructions, finding it hard at first, after a few breaths she found the rhythm, her body starting to feel lighter again.

"Thank you," Aly sighed once she stopped crying.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to come pick you up?" Sierra asked.

"No, I'll be fine, it just came out of no where and I couldn't get myself to control it," Aly was annoyed with herself.

"That's okay, it's gonna take a minute to get back to where you were."