Daisy Potter and the Wedding (Book 8, Harry Potter ff)

Chapter 20 - Babysitting

Before the next Transfiguration class, the twins, Terry, and I snuck in and covered the room with lettuce leaves. We also left a dildo on Professor Soot's desk and set our piglet on the floor, letting it run off behind his desk.

"You four are here early." Professor Soot said as he entered, the rest of the class streaming in behind him in a sea of chatter. He glanced around the room, taking in the lettuce, dildo, and piglet, sighing. "Of course. That's why. Not because any of you have taken the initiative to do better in class. But because you wanted to make my day worse."

"Of course, sir." I said brightly, ruffling his hair as he brushed past me. He shot me a look as several of my classmates gasped, but just sat down at his desk, brushing the lettuce leaves aside and setting his briefcase down.

I unzipped my own bag, bringing out the parrot that the Insurgents had taught swear words and letting it loose. It flapped around the classroom, squawking "Fuck, shit, bitch, dick, cunt," and Professor Soot buried his face in his hands.

"Sir," I said, getting down on one knee beside him, "will you marry me?"

"No, Miss Potter." Professor Soot sighed. "As I am sure that your two boyfriends would not be very happy about that. Now please, class, settle down and pay attention."

I snatched his wand, replacing it with a trick rubber chicken one from our shop, and I skipped back to my seat, beaming. Professor Soot got up, clearing the blackboard, and started writing up today's aims while the rest of us tittered and messed around.

"Now," He said, glancing around the classroom, "where's everyone's homework?"

We all passed up our parchment, me grinning as he glanced down at mine and frowned. I'd written the whole thing with a glitter gel pen and signed it at the bottom with my autograph.

"Professor, don't you like my stylish pen?" I raised my hand, making sure my tone was argumentative. "How dare you?"

"I would, of course, prefer it if my students used black ink when writing assignments." Professor Soot said, his eyes on me. "But as long as you get the job done -"

"Er, EXCUSE me, sir, but you were like, glaring at my homework." I said, letting attitude drip from my words. Half the class turned and gaped at me. I shrugged.

"Miss Potter -"

"Sir, you're dumb."

The class was silent. Someone snorted in the corner then slapped their hands over their mouth.

"Are you trying to get a detention, Miss Potter? Is that your game here?" Professor Soot raised an eyebrow at me, some hidden meaning behind his words, and I shivered. "That can be easily arranged. Detention next week, in my office. Anyway..."

For some reason I was excited by his tone and the way he looked at me before he turned back to the board. What was he going to make me do in this detention?

"Sir, can I have your autograph?" Terry put his hand into the air. Professor Soot ignored him. "Sir, that shirt looks really good on you. You also smell really good today."

Despite himself, I could see Professor Soot's lips twitching as he scrawled out a question on the board. He turned to pick up his wand, only for it to squawk and turn into a rubber chicken in his hand. He sighed, struggling against himself not to laugh.

"Give me my wand, please, Miss Potter."

"There you go, Professor. By the way, what's your workout routine?"

Professor Soot's eyes glinted at me. "We are talking about Transfiguration right now, Miss Potter. I shall tell you all about it during your detention."