Sinusubukan 'ata talaga ako ng tadhana.
Hindi na nagpakita si Poopie sa akin the following days after our spat. Kahit isang text wala rin. Siguro tinitiis n'ya ako, pwes hahayaan ko s'ya sa gusto n'ya. Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong elemento ang sumapi sa akin na kaya kong magmatigas sa kaisa-isang tao na nakakapagpalabas ng lahat ng emosyon ko, kahit na ang mga luhang ayaw kong ilabas. This time I won't be the one to budge. Magtiisan kami kung magtitiisan. I want him to realize also that it hurt me a lot when he couldn't even be there for me at that low point in my life. At mas masakit pa kasi pinakita n'ya sa aking kinakampihan n'ya si Cody.
And speaking of Cody.... Hindi na rin s'ya nagparamdam. I won't deny that I'm missing him. Minsan nga napapatingin ako sa phone ko hoping that he would send me a message. But then I'm thankful that he's keeping his word kasi hindi ko rin naman alam kung anong sasabihin ko sa kanya kung sakaling makipagbati at makipagbalikan sa akin. Yes I still love him but I'm not sure if I wanna be with him again. Maybe not now, not yet.
I have never felt this alone in my life. Wala si Cody, wala rin si Poopie.
********
"Clarq, samahan mo naman ako sa mall mamaya," Martin said after our first subject.
"Bakit?"
"Birthday ng mom ko bukas. I need to buy her a gift. Wala pa kasi akong regalo sa kanya eh."
"Si Ven?"
"Hindi daw s'ya pwede mamaya, may family thing sila."
"Eh bakit ako hindi mo tinatanong kung may gagawin ba ako mamaya? Request ka kaagad d'yan na samahan kita."
"Bakit, may gagawin ka ba mamaya after class?"
Wala naman talaga. Ang totoo n'yan ay wala akong dadatnan sa bahay kundi si Manang. Si Mommy kasi ay may dinner meeting daw kaya late uuwi. Mas lalo ko na naman mararamdaman ang loneliness. Ano bang gusto kong gawin today - magmukmok o magpalibre ng dinner?
"Basta ilibre mo ako ng dinner ha!" was my reply.
It took us about 2 hours to find the "perfect" birthday gift for his mom. Ang mokong wala pala talagang idea kung anong ibibigay n'ya sa mudra n'ya. And because of all the walking, I got so hungry. Martin asked me where I wanted to eat so I pointed to the first restaurant we saw.
We were seating on a booth across each other when I heard a familiar voice. I know I've heard it somewhere but I really can't remember.
After placing our orders a girl from the other booth stood up and said, "Hon, please order dessert. Ladies room lang ako." And to my surprise Lilo was there in her ultra skimpy dress with very low neckline and heavy make-up.
"Hon, don't take too long," someone said to her... and it's not Grant's voice.
Napatingin s'ya sa direction ko at nagulat din. I know we have the same facial expression. She slowly walked to our table, probably thinking of some lame excuse because she knows she's so busted. But that little fear that she had on her way to us was replaced with a smirk when she saw Martin.
"Hi Clarq. Funny bumping into you today. Baka gusto mo akong ipakilala sa kasama mo."
"Not really," I said.
"Ang rude mo naman. Hi, I'm Leigh. You are?" she said while offering a hand to Martin.
"Martin. Nice to meet you Leigh."
