STRUGGLING // SKEPHALO // DISCONTINUED, UNEDITED

13 - I swear, every person that passes us keeps on giving us disgusted stares.

I swear, every person that passes us keeps on giving us disgusted stares. I don't even know why as well, it just kind of happens? Anyway ignoring that. Skeppy zoned out like 5 minutes looking at me dreamily ago so I'm just sitting here awkwardly waiting for him to hopefully maybe return to reality soon?

Ever since he's came here, everything just seems better. Sure, we had that first moment and then a fight, but I never really got that mad at him. How is he able to just like magically make things better. I take another sip of my strawberry milkshake.

I just can't seem to get my eyes off my arms, the stares people give us make it seem like people can see my slits and they just don't like the sight. And when I'm not looking at my arms, I'm looking at Skeppy and thinking of him. And not like those typical gay thoughts you have about a crush, I mean like thoughts thinking about if he's okay. Especially with how he jolted earlier. I kind of wish he told me some things and opened up, because then I probably would of opened up to him and we wouldn't be so quiet with each other. Again he could just be sensitive, but it could be trauma or his thighs just really seem to hurt? He's always complained about his thighs hurting for months now so it's not just him accidentally hurting himself.

Accidentally. What if he's hurting himself purposely.

He did mention he used to hurt himself. But you'd think he would say something, I suppose not though. But I guess it's just too soon to assume, especially because it could just be something medical he doesn't want to say or just cramps from sitting around.

Nobody flinches like that with cramps.

I'm just overreacting, I tell myself in my thoughts and take another sip. I drag my attention off of Skeppy and look around at the little Cafe around us. It had a cute aesthetic consisting of pastel colours and cute symbol like hearts and cats. It was basically a cat cafe but without the cats.

Someone walled by and huffed out, "fags" before shuffling faster to the door.

💀

"Did he just call us.." Skeppy speaks up, making me flinch at how I thought he was in a completely different reality.

"Yeah-" I almost burst out into laughter because it was so sudden, but yet so expected.

"How are you laughing at that!?" Skeppy asks wide-eyed.

"Because he wasn't wrong." I reply, only realising what I had said a second after. I just stare at him wide eyed awkwardly, not actually noticing that he was confused.

"And how did you know..?" He questions nervously biting on his lip, almost chewing on it entirely.

I recall the memory, barely, but fresh enough in my mind. We were both drunk and just talking about stuff, out of the blue he says "I'm bi" and we have a five minute emotional breakdown about who would win if all the world leaders were put into a boxing match.

I retell him that story to which he blushes at. It was definitely a weird memory, but also it was surprising I remembered it.

"The one time we got drunk together, I remember you telling me that we should do seven minutes in heaven." He retorts, getting a few looks from being so loud. I just giggle embarrassed.

Eventually a few seconds later I reply, "I did?"

"Mhm. You are the weirdest drunk." He answers, also laughing.

"Oh, now that we're here together we could actually like get drunk together now." I mention since we were just on that topic. It would be risky to get drunk though. I could hurt him.

Or he says something he didn't want to say.

I smile, "we should probably finish these and keep on exploring."

He nods and agrees, "Yep. Smart."

We finish up our drinks and since we already paid we just had to put the waste in the bin and leave. As we exit the door, Skeppy takes my hand which I just accept. I mega blush and try to figure out what's happening.

Omgomgomgomg... He's holding my hand??? Why is he holding my hand? Doesn't he have his own to hold? Is he freaking out?

I look at him and he seems completely blank faced, but his cheeks glowed a deep red.

Okay so he's definitely thinking about it too. Great. So why did he hold my hand? If he's going to freak out, then why did he hold it? Is he okay? Does he feel shy?

Oh look a bird!

I glared the blue bird down, introducing a staring contest. It immediately flew away, leaving me with these constant gay thoughts.

WHY IS HE HOLDING MY HAND?

HUHHH??

My face burned, it was as hot as lava and to top it off it was red like a rash. I bit my lip in nervousness and looked away so it didn't seem gay, but it felt gay. It felt REALLY gay. It felt gayer than kissing your same gender friend, it felt gayer than an actual gay couple. Any bystander would agree it looks cringy, but also gay.

IS IT GAY?