STRUGGLING // SKEPHALO // DISCONTINUED, UNEDITED

25 - Okay I am so Definetly in love with him oh my god.

Zak's POV??:

Okay I am so definitely in love with him oh my god. Right let's repeat what the actual fuck happened.

So I'm sitting looking at my Twitter timeline. Something comes up that says, 'Like if you want your soulmate to think about you' so I just like for no reason. Ten seconds after that Darryl comes down all tall and sleek like he's in an action movie, probably distracted by something he stares at me so I smile back. He says like hey or something so maybe this is a good chance to talk to him and apologise. He heads to the kitchen so I creep up on him but it's like he already knew I was there. I apologise and tell him. He goes really like non-verbal but then suddenly gets really happy and HE CONFESSES THAT HE WANTS TO KISS ME. SO THEN I KISS HIM AND HE LIKED IT I THINK AND HES PROBABLY HAVING A GAY PANIC AS WE SPEAK.

The tweet wasn't lying holy shit.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA????

That means Darryl's my soulmate? I don't really believe in in stuff but now I kind of do. Does that mean like we might date? Oh my god we might date. EEEEE!

I'm acting like a 14 year old girl with a crush oh my gosh can I shut up. I don't shut up I grow up and when I-

QKG ACYPAGXIPUGAIPGXAPXIGAUGXAPUFXAUGCPIGAC. I AM SO HAPPY. AAAAAAAAA!!!!!

I should probably check on Darryl knowing him. He's just not having a great day verbal wise.

I shake myself back into my body and walk over to Darryl's room, as expected his door was wide open.

sh mentions

His hoodie was off so you could see his slits clearly from the door, they appeared worse than before the last weeks. They scattered across both his arms. He was also crying, happily or sadly? I couldn't tell. Until he did sob out, "I am so happy..."

I couldn't see his arms unless he used them to wipe his tears, but then he waved his right arm around that revealed a knife. My eyes widened and every instinct mentally just seemed to kick in. I knew I had to keep calm though. I also saw fresh slits.

It's gotten bad.

Real bad.

"Darryl I was just checking to see if you're-" I freeze up when I saw that it was a lot worse than I thought. I'm guessing he just didn't expect me to see him in such a mess when he tried to cover his arms up and dropped his knife.

I try to play this lighthearted, but it ended up a teensy bit mean. "We both cut ourselves, idiot."

He laughed, which made me laugh. "Zak that's not a great thing to say!" He says, I'm guessing his gay brain finally wore off. I could tell he was still embarrassed as he hid his arms behind his back.

I roll my eyes and get closer, the knife is all rusted up. I try to see his from his perspective, but why would you use a knife that could possibly kill you?"You have other knives to use right; this ones all rusted up?" I ask him.

"It doesn't cut much. It just gives the pain without opening the skin. I just go too roughly on it." He explains, which I get but I would never try to self harm with anything rusted.

I remember that there's bandages and alcohol wipes, "I'll be right back." I head quickly to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. Inside the cabinet I see a picture of Lucy with a tub of razors next to them.

Can't believe we both turned out like this.

I grab some bandages and alcohol wipes. They were almost fully stocked which worried me a little. We haven't really went out much since the last time we got leaked and I know he didn't go out when his self harming got leaked as he told me. I head back into the room and sit next to him. He gave me a confused look when I showed him the equipment.

"You can wipe the cuts and I'll bandage them. It isn't great to keep them open." I tell him, "Then uhh... we can do mine..."

I did not plan this out at all.

He could definitely tell I was unsure of this plan, but he also seemed to go along with it. He didn't speak too much which was fine, but he did yelp once or twice when the alcohol hit an open wound. I just talked about whatever to keep us both distracted.

Every so often he'd look at me for reassurance that I always returned with a smile. Not long after, we finished really quickly. By then I forgot about the fact we had to do mine too.

"You ready?" He asks me, as he swapped his wipes for my bandages.

"Huh? OH. Uhhhhhh.... yeah." I cursed myself for sounding so unsure, but I just went along with it. I awkwardly and anxiously rolled up both of my pants legs to as far as they could get until they hit the knee.

"Okay there is no way I'm doing this in my boxers..." I mutter. Did I even pack shorts?

"I'm guessing you didn't pack shorts because of that... I should have some, hold on." He got up and went to his closet and within fifteen seconds he returned with two pairs. "We're around the same size, but I got a smaller pair just in case."

I didn't know whether to smile or look offended, "I appreciate the very kind gesture but you did not have to flex by saying you're taller."

He just giggles whilst I left the room to go change. I put my trousers into the little laundry bag I've been keeping in the corner. I cringe at the sight of the scabs. Then I just couldn't seem to get my eyes off them.

Darryl eventually called out, "You okay Zak?"

"Oh- yeah. Coming!" I peel my eyes off of my legs and come back through. I see Darryl looking at me when I walk in. He just had a smile.

He didn't judge me.

I smile back and my heart skips a beat, I sit next to him. Though I was basically about to do my worst fear, (letting people see my self harm) I felt really happy and at peace.

I am double definitely in love.