Cate's Neighbor

Down the Rabbit Hole

CW: self-harm 

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Cate's pov

I could tell she'd been crying as soon as she opened the door. She'd been in her room for the past hour and I hadn't heard a single sound. I looked at her for a moment trying to decide what to do. Without any further thinking I wrapped my arms around her. It took her a moment but she loosely wrapped her arms around me. I stroked her back and whispered "I'm sorry, darling" in her ear. I felt her nod and I pulled away to look at her again and she looked so... different. Even from when I first saw her not even a minute ago. 

"How are you feeling?" I asked her and she shrugged, "I'm tired" she said plainly. I bit my lip and figured that I didn't have the right to push her. I said I'd let her sleep and she thanked me before I left the room. I walked back to my room slowly, sulking, thinking I'd pushed her away from me for good. 

Catalina's pov
As soon as she left I locked the door again, I hate myself. Why do I have to do this? I make myself numb and the problem is sometimes, most times, I can't get myself out of it. Without a little help that is. So I turned to my most effective helper, she always comes in handy. She's always there when I need her and never lets me down. I reach in my bag for that sharp silver that never disappoints. I moved almost in slow motion to the bathroom and pushed the rugs aside. The rugs were innocent and didn't need to be stained with my worthless blood. I pulled my leggings down and off my legs before removing my shirt as well. 

I sighed before taking the blade and gliding it across my skin. Sweet relief was exhaled through every pore of my body when I felt the pain. It helps me realize I can still feel, even when the dullness consumes me. I dragged it a few more times, the blood cascading down my upper thigh. Over and over on to the white tile like paint being spilled on a canvas. I took a moment to just admire my work before the guilt kicked in. I could feel the adrenaline pumping furiously through my veins. I got up getting a dark towel from my bag that I had brought just in case. I grabbed some antiseptic and bandages and fixed myself up. 

Afterwards I got up and the slight aching I felt made me smile. I know it sounds weird but being able to feel that was better than feeling nothing at all. I made sure the bandages were secure because I wrapped extra to make sure it wouldn't bleed through during the night. I cleaned the floor making sure not to leave any evidence and slipped into bed. This was all quite exhausting, so I had no trouble slipping quickly and quietly into sleep. 

Cate's pov
I couldn't sleep. No matter how much I tried, tossed and turned, sleep just wouldn't come. I have this feeling, I'm not sure where it came from, but it doesn't feel good. I feel like something bad is about to happen or has already happened. I knew the kids should already be asleep and Andrew would've called me if anything happened. I'm not one to ignore my intuition even if I don't fully understand what it means. I got out my bed quietly and slipped on some house shoes. I made my way to Catalina's door and tried to softly turn the knob but it was locked again. It's as if she knew I'd be back or something but I have to respect her privacy.

I also just want to make sure she's ok though. And I have a key... fuck it.