Fall All Over Again (Completed)

Kabanata 15

Kabanata 15

My memory of having a crush on Klive started flashing on my mind. The little Erin who secretly admire the young Klive. 'Yung simpleng crush, na nauwi sa pagkagusto at ngayon ay sa pagmamahal. Pagmamahal na nauwi sa sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

Nagkulong lang ako maghapon sa kuwarto ko at iniyak lahat. My Mom made a delicious snack for me but I can't seem to enjoy it. She looks worried but didn't force me to tell what's happening. I think she respects me and my privacy.

Ganon pa man, alam kong nag-aalala siya sa akin at sa kung ano ang nangyayari. Hearing their conversation about me destroyed me inside. All this time, hindi naman pala niya kinakain lahat ng pinaghihirapan kong lutuin sa araw araw. Na hinahayaan niya lang ako dahil magkaibigan ang pamilya namin. 'Yun lang 'yon. That he's just being polite. And to top it all, I personally saw him making out with someone. The way he hungrily kissed and touch that girl almost made me faint.

I was so jealous.

That I almost envy the girl he's with. But that's too lame. I can't be that desperate. Throwing my body? I could never..

I tried to look and be okay before stepping out of my room for dinner. Alam ko kasing mag-aalala si Daddy at Kuya kung hindi ako sasabay sa kanila. I trust my Mom, that she won't tell them what happened, until she know about everything.. At sa ngayon, alam kong hinahayaan lang ako ni Mommy. I could never lie to her, but I really can't tell her what exactly happened. She'll get her heart broken as well, and I don't like that.

Mukha namang hindi gaanong napansin ni Daddy ang mata ko. Thanks to concealer. The dinner went well, but of course Mommy eyed me from time to time.

Colette send me some notes from the class I missed today. Nagpasalamat ako sa kaniya at nagpasyang aralin 'yon. Ito na lang siguro ang pagkakaabalahan ko kaysa ang umiyak magdamag.

I woke early the next morning. Ganito na kasi talaga ang gising ko araw-araw dahil maaga akong nagluluto ng pagkain para kay.. ni pangalan niya hindi ko mabanggit. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako. Instead of leaving my room to go to the kitchen, I went inside my dressing room na change my sleep wear into a jogging outfit. I'll just jog my thoughts and feelings away. Hoping it will lessen the pain.

"Good morning Mam Erin.. Magluluto na po kayo?" ani Ate Marie, na isa sa mga kasambahay namin. Kabisado niya na kasi ang daily routine ko.

I shooked my head and smiled. "Hindi na po ako magluluto starting today. I'll just jog around the village. Pakisabi na lang kila Mommy kapag hinanap ako. Salamat Ate.."

"Ay sige Mam.."

I run as fast as I can. I miss doing these kinds of activities. Na halos hindi ko na nagagawa dahil sa pagiging abala. Busy from studying and impressing a guy with my cooking skills. I really invest my time and effort to someone who does not appreciate everything that I do.

Isang araw pa lang ang nakakalipas kaya masakit pa rin ang lahat para sa akin. Everything's still fresh. I can always hear their words and see their actions. Playbacks still lingers inside me. And because of that, my tears will silently fall generously.

First time kong magkagusto at ma-inlove, pero ganito kaagad kasakit.

Pumasok ako ng maaga. Colette and I have the exact same classes so the notes she gave helped me a lot. Lalo na kung may biglaan kaming quiz, knowing some professors. She greeted me with her wide smile, na ginantihan ko naman. We sit next to each other.

"How are you feeling now?"

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya. "I'm fine.."

"You don't look like one.. May problema ba?"