Living After Abortion (Adopted by Jennifer Lawrence Fanfic)

(1) Adopt..me?

"When people look at me, they see who they wanna see...they don't see me. You know?" I say as I rub my hands on my thighs, trying to dry them.

"Mmhhm.." Is all I hear back.

Ugh. Sometimes this is why I wish I didn't have to go to a stupid therapist. Don't take me wrong, I love Dr. Lumble, but I don't love the fact that he has to know everything about me.

Yes, I mean everything.

Most girls my age keep a diary, so they can look back on it later, or it's just another way for them to let off steam, express their feelings, whatever. Anyways, that's not me.

I'm required to keep a diary, although I wouldn't say I get to keep it. I have to read it out loud, just to Dr. Lumble, but he writes so many notes, I know everybody in the office, and probably the agency knows about my feelings.

Every Tuesday at 4:30-6:30, I'm forced to come here to unload my secrets.

"Okay, well great session today Madison--I'm sorry," he chuckles softly, "Maddie."

"Bye." I say as I quickly jump up from where I was stiffly, sitting on the leather couch.

I open the dark, oak wood door that leads to the never ending hallway. I step into the waiting area to see Laura, my foster mom, knitting in a corner.

She quickly packs her stuff in a small bag when she sees me and smiles. Me, being myself, barely acknowledges her.

"How was the session today?" Laura asks as she starts the car.

"Fine. " I answer, barely audible. I just want to be alone right now. I put my ear buds in.

I don't know why, but after every session I feel, well violated. I know, I know. I shouldn't, but that's how I feel. That's the one secret I will never share.

***

"Madison, " Laura calls, "Jacob will be home soon with dinner, so come set the table please."

Reluctantly I stand from my bed, or should I say the bed in the Johnson's guest bedroom--well now my bedroom, I guess.

Let's face it, this will never be my bedroom.

You see, I wasn't supposed to be born.

My biological mother was in high school, about to graduate, when she found out she was pregnant. She was dating the quarterback of the football team and she was cheer captain. So I was told.

You see, having a baby would ruin everything. So it was decided that I would be aborted.

Obviously it didn't work. During the operation, or whatever they do, her heart rate descended, like it was really low. They were halfway done so they got her stable and she was life-flighted to the nearest hospital.

She was 24 weeks along with me, and she went into labor. I know, right? Right there on the helicopter.

The umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and I wasn't breathing. Surprisingly the doctor saved me and I was barely breathing. I was immediately rushed to the NICU.

It was a miracle I was even alive and it was even more surprising when I continued to show progress. Throughout the next 5 months I was poked and prodded just so I could live.
My mother never saw me again after they rushed me to the NICU, she said she didn't want to even know the gender. She didn't care. She didn't want to be known for this.

That's okay, I mean not everybody gets to say that they were born at 6 months gestation. That's cool right?

Usually babies in foster systems get adopted in a matter of days. Not me I was too, different. I wasn't supposed to be alive.

People wanted "A normal baby" they would say.

My left hand is deformed, like I basically can't even pick up anything with that hand. People don't like that.

Anyways, rant over. Time to set the table.
This is my life, and I'm just grateful for that.

I faintly hear the phone ring, and Laura yells from the kitchen for me to answer.

"Hello?" I say into the house phone.

"Hi. I'm looking to adopt the child located at this resistance...my name is Jennifer Lawrence."
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I JUST WANT TO SAY I AM NOT EXPRESSING MY OPINION ABOUT THIS SUBJECT. THIS IS JUST A BOOK ABOUT A GIRL WHO LIVED AFTER AN ABORTION. I RECENTLY HEARD A STORY ABOUT THIS AND THOUGHT IT WAS INTERESTING. I REALIZE THIS IS A TOUCHY SUBJECT, BUT I AM NOT LOOKING TO ARGUE WITH ANYBODY. NO HATE AT ALL. IF YOU DONT LIKE THE STORY, DONT READ IT.