Living After Abortion (Adopted by Jennifer Lawrence Fanfic)

(16) Jet Lag

••Maddie's POV••

"How was your nap?" Josh asked as soon as I opened my eyes.

I squinted at him, "Okay. "

I turned my head over to Jen, but she's not there.

"She went to the bathroom. " He says quietly, not disturbing our neighbors.

I nod my head, "So. "

"So. "

I blurted out the question that had been bugging me ever since I saw Josh on that plane, "Are you gonna get back together?"

His eyes widen, "Maddie..."

"I'm sorry," I blush, "That was a stupid question."

He shakes his head, "No," he sighs, "it's not. " I look at him as he continues, "I love your mom, with all my heart." He looks out the window, his eyes starting to get glossy, "I always had a thing for Claudia. It took me forever to build up the courage to ask her on a date. To my surprise she had said yes. I dated her and I thought I loved her." He frowned, "Then one day she broke up with me saying, 'I feel bad for making you think I had feelings for you, but your just not my type of guy.' I loved her and gave her everything and then she dumped me like I was nothing. "

He looks back at me and sighs, "That day--when Jen was supposed to bring you over--" He raises his eyebrows and I nod remembering, "Well guess who showed up and told me that she loved me?" He runs a hand through his hair, "After two whole years. I didn't know what to say back. I mean, I had only dreamed about her showing up at my door saying those three words." He brings his voice down to a lower volume, "She told me she loved me and then she kissed me." He takes a deep breath and looks me dead in the eyes, "I knew I loved Jen, but I still had something pulling me close to Claudia--we had history. I had to make sure that I wasn't going to date Jen like nothing was wrong and then drop her like she was dirt if I changed my mind later. I had to make sure that my heart was completely gone from Claudia and completely on Jen. " He looks me dead in the eye, "So when Claudia kissed me, I kissed her back--and I didn't feel anything." More specifically he added, "It didn't mean anything."

It didn't mean anything.

I wait a minute and let the information sink in, "Wait--so your saying you were kissing Claudia--so you could make sure--your heart was one hundred percent--on Jen?"

He nods slowly.

"You have to tell Jen!" I yell and then got a really stern look from a stewardess walking the aisles, "Sorry. " I mumbled and ducked my head.

"Josh...you need to tell her. She has to forgive you!" I whisper scream, "I know she still loves you."

Josh's face turns from complete sadness and heartache to an angry, hurtful look.

"She has Nicholas now. " He spits out.

I shake my head, "Trust me Josh," I pause choosing my words carefully, "She doesn't love him like she loves you. He's--he's terrible."

He squints his eyes and then nods like he understands, "I'll try, but it will take time--and I'll need your help. "

I give him my best smile, "I'll do anything."

"She's coming back--just don't mention anything about this and we'll talk later. " He says looking away from me.

I nod my head and face the small tv screen in front of me.

"Hey Madds," Jen takes her seat, "How was your nap?"

"Fine. " I tap on the screen, "Wanna watch a movie?"