Tears [Carlos x Lando]

31. jealousy.

„You have to stop being jealous all the time lando! It's getting on my nerves." carlos says. „I'm sorry.. i just have jealousy issues.. i can't control it.." i say. „So you don't trust me or what?" he says as he get angrier. „No it's not that i just-" i try to say. „Gosh lando! He is only my friend get over it. You are too dramatic tsk." he yells and i glare at him. I tried to stay calm but my emotions came over me „get over it?.. GET OVER IT?? YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPEND WITH GEORGE, CARLOS?! I CAN'T CONTOL MY JEALOUSY. IT WAS SO BAD I NEARLY KILLED MYSELF BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH THAT I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN LOOSE YOU!" i scream at him and he stares at me. Tears roll down my cheeks and i grab my jacket. I storm out of the house.

I don't know where to go because it's already dark. I'm afraid of being outside alone, in the dark. Too many things happend. I sit down infront of house and i lean against the wall. I start to cry, he is right. I am way too jealous, i am overreacting.. but that's how i am. I can't change myself it wouldn't be me then. Carlos comes out of the house. He hears me cry and his head turns to me. „Get inside. I don't want you to be alone on the streets in the middle of the night." he says and he goes inside again letting the door open. He is still angry. I slowly stand up and go into our house. He is in the living room sitting on the couch. „I'll sleep here. Go into the bedroom." he says without looking at me. I stare at him sadly. „I'm sorry.." i say but he doesn't answer. I slowly start walking to our bedroom i forgot to close the door but i didn't want to walk back. I lay down on the bed. I keep crying in pillow. Why am i like this? Why can't i just be normal? I should just get over it, but i'm too scared. It's okay that he spends time with his friend.. but this specific friend worries me. I start to sob a bit loud for a few minutes and when i open my eyes i see carlos in the doorway looking at me. When our eyes meet he turns arround again and leaves.

I tried to sleep but i couldn't. My head hurts from crying and my eyes are swollen. I sit up and i slowly get out of the bedroom. I walk to the living room. „Carlos?.." i say quietly. „Go back to sleep lando." he says. „I can't sleep.." i response. „I don't care just go back to bed." he says. I look at him sad and he burries his face in his pillow. I walk back into my bedroom.

After a hour passed carlos walks into the bedroom. „I have to leave." he says and i stare at him. „What do you mean leave?" i ask him. „I have to go to italy for 3 weeks. Ferrari needs me." he says. I stare at him as my eyes tear up. But, i need him too.. i look into his eyes, i try to talk but when i open my mouth i start to sob. He turns arround and starts to walk i stand up and i run after him, i take his hand from behind and he stops walking. He slowly turns arround to me. He looks in my teary eyes and he slowly leans forward to kiss my forhead. „Please don't leave.." i whisper. „I have to lando. It's for my career." He says. „D-Don't leave me.. please.. not like this. Not now.." i say in my sobs. 3 weeks aren't that much.. but i don't want him to leave in a fight.. what if it gets worse? What if he stops loving me? I'll be all alone crying myself to sleep not knowing if he will still love me when he comes back. I start to shake and he looks in my eyes. „I'll be back soon." he says and i hold his hand even tighter. „please.. stay.." i beg him. He looks at me. „goodbye lando." he says as he lets go of my hand and turns arround. I start to sob louder and when he stands infront of the door he hesitates to leave for a secound. He looks back at me. „I love you." he says and leaves. I lower myself to the floor and i keep crying for a few minutes. I need him, i don't want him to leave. „DON'T LEAVE ME!" i scream I slowly stand up and i rush to the door. When i'm outside i look to the left and he is standing there leaning against the wall. „i won't leave you." he says as he looks at me. I walk to him and hug him to cry into his chest. „I'm sorry.. i'm sorry.." i whisper against him. „Why for?.. it's my fault. You are right. My friend was acting a bit weird arround me i'll cut the contact to him." he says as he kisses my forhead. „I will stay. Ferrari can survive without me." he says and i kiss his cheek.