Tears [Carlos x Lando]

34. disgusting

*Landos pov*

I slowly open my eyes, i feel nothing but pain. I haven't eaten in days, i can't remember the last couple of days that much. I was on drugs. When i hear the door open behind me, i feel the fear coming up again. "good morning lando, did you sleep good?" george asks me ironicly as he slowly walks to me. "today we're gonna have much fun." he says with a grin on his face. I look at him with my blury vision. He slowly unties me from the chair and i look at him confused. He pushes me to the ground and he slowly opens his pants. I stare at him as my eyes get watery. "no.. n-no stop it please.." I whisper. He goes on top of me. "GET OFF ME! STOP THIS!" i yell at him as i push him off me. He grabs my waist. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" I scream as i start crying. "SHUT THE FUCK UP LANDO, I DIDN'T ASK YOU!" He yells at me. I start to sob as he rips off my clothes. "p-please.. don't. PLEASE STOP! DON'T TOUCH ME!" I cry as i slap him across his face. "THAT'S ENOUGH YOU BASTARD." He yells at me as he grabs my hair to smash it against the wall. It hurted so bad i could feel the blood dripping down. "c-carlos.. help me.." I whisper as my sight went black.

*carlos pov*

I miss him so fucking much, i am so worried. I've tried everything to find him, so did the police. But they just can't find him. I didn't sleep in days, i can't sleep without him next to me. I need him. Where the fuck is he. Where?! Is he hurt? The person who took him away from me will regret every single thing they did to him. I will make them pay with their life. Tears roll down my eyes. I usually don't cry. But he has been gone for days, i am so fucking scared something really bad happend to him. Why is it always him? He is the sweetest person alive and he always has to go through any kind of shit. He doesn't deserve that. I would do anything to protect him. "I will find you lando. You will be okay." i whisper to myself.

Max and Daniel stayed at my place since the day he was gone, to make sure i was okay.  Without them i would've probably went even crazier. They wanted me to eat something but how can i? I lost my appetite, lando is the only thing on my mind. I cannot live without him. Why does this person do that to him? What did lando ever do to deserve something like that? WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO? I feel the anger inside me grow bigger again. I stand up and smash my desk with the laptop on in on the floor. "LANDO DOESN'T DESERVE ALL OF THIS! MAKE IT STOP!" I yell as i hear footsteps running to my door. Max flings the door open and my eyes move to him. He grabs my arms to make me stop throw other things arround. "Carlos you have to calm down." He says. I push him on the ground "HOW CAN I?! MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS AND IF HE'S OKAY!" I scream at max as my hand forms into a fist. I grab him by his shirt and he squeezes his eyes shut. I stare at him and i let him go. Tears roll down my eyes. "I'm so sorry.. i-i didn't mean to.. i-it's just that.." i say as i break down infront of him. He gently puts his hand on my back. "It's okay don't worry about it. Everything will be fine carlos we will find him. We always do." He says and i nod.

*Landos pov*

Some hours have passed, i'm not sure how many because i was unconscious for quiet a while. I was still laying on the floor. I saw a used condom next to me and i start to cry again. I feel disgusting. I am disgusting. I hate myself. Why did i let this happen. Please make this stop, i can't do this anymore.. i want to be with carlos. please.. i stare at my naked body. I can never look at myself again. I am the problem, it's all my fault. I look at my shaky hand. Why did he do this to me?.. but.. i mean maybe i deserve this. george was right. I should have died in the car accident. I am a mistake, carlos should have a better lover. I am terrible. I start to sob louder again. As i grab my clothes a phone falls down on the ground. My eyes widen. Did george forget his phone here? I grab the phone and dial carlos number. "Who's this." his voice says. More tears roll down my eyes. "c-carlos!" I say and i can hear him gasp. "oh god.. is that you lando?! where are you, please tell me you're okay.." he says worried. I can hear the fear in his voice. "g-george kidnapped me and h-" i try to say when i start to feel a sharp pain in my stomach. I slowly look down and see a knive in my stomach, then i feel george's breath on my neck. I drop the phone on the ground and i let out a loud scream. "if i can't have him.. no one can." george whispers and my eyes widen.