Bastard | ✓

BASTARD: chapter seventeen

raiden

"I don't understand," I tell Mars. "One minute everything's fine and we're getting closer and the next...it's like he's pushing me away."

Mars frowns at my words before shaking his head. "From just the way you talk about him, he seems closed off. You don't really know that much about him."

"I know that, but how am I supposed to learn more, if he takes one step forward and two steps back every time we start to get somewhere?"

Running my hand through my hair, I slump against my chair. After Demos left and my embarrassing moment with Cloud, we hadn't talked much. When I woke up this morning he was still asleep so I took the opportunity to meet up with Mars for breakfast.

The original idea was to try to clear my mind, but the more I tried to, the more my mind became crowded with thoughts about Cloud. I knew from day one that he wasn't going to be easy to talk to, but it felt like we were making no progress.

"What?" I ask Mars with a sigh as I stare at his face. It was clear that he wanted to say something, but was clearly holding back. "Go ahead and say it."

"Maybe meeting up with the beta and taking him up on his offer wouldn't be a bad idea," Mars says. "You don't have to, but I'm just saying that you may be able to understand him better."

A frown forms on my face. I didn't want to invade Cloud's privacy like that, but I did want to learn more about him.

"Look, I'm not saying you have to, but you're clearly stressing yourself out about it," Mars tells me before looking down at his phone. "I need to go now, but you know I'm always available if you need me, Rai."

I offer him a smile and nod. "Yeah, thanks."

I watch as Mars leaves before standing up from the table and making my way to the counter. I'm sure Cloud will be hungry when he wakes up, so I take the time to order him a takeout plate and then make my way to the car.

As tempting as the idea was, I wasn't sure about taking Beta Reo up on his offer. I wanted to learn more about Cloud, but I also wanted it to be because he wanted to tell me, not because someone else dug into his history.

Maybe there was a way to try and get closer to him. So far, the only activities we had done were confined to within the house and short trips around the pack. Despite not knowing much about him, it was clear that his wolf was weak. At first, I figured he didn't have one and was human, but after being around him every day it was clear that there was a wolf inside of him but it was subtle.

Still, seeing as he was a werewolf, maybe getting out of the house and taking him somewhere where he could stretch his legs would help. Maybe then he would start to open up.

There was a chance that this wouldn't lead to any changes, but I still had to try. Having hope was better than giving up without even trying.

Smiling to myself, I begin to brainstorm ideas of where I could take him as I drove back towards the house. When I return, Cloud is awake and in the kitchen.

"I brought you food," I tell him, causing him to jump. Cloud turns around and his eyes trace over my body before they land on the bag in my hand.

Walking toward me, he takes the bag from my hand, and his brows furrow. "Where were you?"

"I ate out with a friend," I explain. "You were sleeping or I would've seen if you wanted to go."

Cloud nods at my words but says nothing else. An uncomfortable silence fills the room and he instead moves to the table in the kitchen and takes a seat.

"Thanks," he mumbles before opening the bag.

"You know, I was thinking that maybe sometime this week, we could go out. I feel like we haven't really left the house since you came and—"

"No thanks," Cloud interrupts as he begins eating his food.

My brows furrow. "But it could be fun—"

"I'll pass," he says.

A frown forms on my face. "Cloud—"

"Raiden," he snaps. "I don't want to go anywhere."

My frown grows at his words along with my frustration.

"You don't want to do anywhere or see anything? You're fine with just spending your days in this house? It doesn't have to just be this week. We can always do it at another time."

"I don't want to go anywhere or see anything now or in the future, Raiden."

His tone tells me that the conversation is over and he focuses on his food. Once he's done, he throws the takeout container away and moves toward the living room without sparing me a glance. My gaze follows him to the couch as I stare confusedly.

It was as if he had shut himself off even more than when I first met him.

"Can you stop staring at me?" Cloud grumbles.

Annoyance grows inside of me. "Sure," I say dryly.

Turning away from him, I exit the room and make my way toward my bedroom. Once I'm inside, I close the door, take a seat on the bed, and let out a sigh.

One step forward and fifty steps backward.

I want to get to know him more, but it was clear that he wasn't going to allow that to happen. Sighing to myself, my mind drifts back to the conversation between Mars and me and I groan to myself.

"Beta?" I link, pushing my growing guilt away.

"Yes?" Beta Reo replies impatiently. "Do you need something?"

"Is that offer to learn more about Cloud still on the table?"

He's quiet for a few minutes before he says, "It is, but are you sure you want to do this?"

Turning my head toward the door I stare at it. Maybe if I knew why he was so closed off, I could try to help. Maybe then it would be easier to understand and communicate with him.

"I'm sure."